Neighbor boy touched son's penis

[kerrilynn01]

My parent's watch my son frequently and he plays with their neighbor boy who is 11. The boy is a little mentally slow so I would compare him to about an 8 year old. Anyway, my son is 4 years old and has recently started having bowel movements in his pants. Nothing has changed in our household so I started to ask my son questions about what type of games him and the neighbor boy play. I then asked if the boy ever touches my son, to which he replied "sometimes." I then asked where and my son pointed to his shoulders, his penis, and his legs. I asked my son to show me what happens when the boy touches his penis. He told me that the boy pulls down his pants (my son's) and then touches his penis. He told me that the boy told him not to tell anyone or he would be in trouble. My son said that the boy doesn't show him his penis or have him touch his. I am absolutely devestated that this has happened to my son! I think I should call the police but I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. I've heard that boys do look and "poke" other boys penis' out of curiousity sometimes. I've explained to my son that no one should ever touch his penis except for him and if anyone ever does he should tell me or his grandparents right away. My son is upset that  he can't play with the boy anymore too. How am I supposed to handle this situation. Is it "normal" or does it call for authorities to get involved? Thank you in advance.

[Dexheat2010]

How would you punish a child that has done this that is not mentally challenged? What should I do? I have a friend that this has happened to her son and they both touched each other! She does not know how to punish her son! Please help

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You bring it up in a straightforward way: "There is something I have to tell you. My son told me about (Name) touching his penis and that this happened a number of times. As (Name) parents, it's something I know you would want me to tell you." That's it - clear and straightforward. Any experienced pediatric mental health clinnician can handle this. Re: the involvement of police, it does not necessarily have to occur. The place to start is with the child protective services. And let the parents of the boy know that you have contacted them or will be contacting them.

[kerrilynn01]

I am a little concerned about talking to the boy's parents. Is this a learned behavior? I mean, could or has he been molested before? How does one go about bringing this up so that the parent's don't get defensive or call my son a liar? As far as child services go, do the police get involved? Are there specific psychologists that focus on this type of abuse that I should seek out for my son? Sorry, for all the questions, I'm just concerned.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This does not fall into the category of normal. Yes, it is important to bring this into the open. First, go to the boy's parents and let them know what you have learned. Hopefully they wil seek help for their son. Second, report the situation to the local family/child services agency. Their involvement will help assure that the boy gets help. Third, arrange some short-term therapy for your son so that he will have professional help to deal with his reactions to the mistreatment he has experienced. And fourth, speak with your parents about their supervision of your son. A child of four needs eyeball supervision and obviously that has not occurred.

[kerrilynn01]

Added Info: My son also told me that it has happened "lots of times" :*(