New Addition

Dear Doc,
I recently had a baby 6 weeks ago and my 2 year old has reacted most likely the way she should, but I am out of ways to discipline her or how to react to the situaton. She is a very stubborn little girl with a big personality which on a daily basis is very hard to deal with, I cant leave the baby at all, I have to basically build a wall between him and his sister otherise she will hit him or fiercely scratch his face or head and if we are not careful he will cop an object thrown at him. She will take his dummy away and throw it. When I do let her have a hold or touch him she will be gentle at first, then she will attack him. I know it is all about jealousy but how do you cope and discipline this behavior as well all the normal 2 year old behavior. We have tried so many methods of discipline from ignoring the behavior, naughty corner, time out and talking to her but nothing is working and she keeps on doing it which is putting alot of pressure on the family. Please help us.

[danidejaneiro]

Hi,
I am no expert but I am a mom of a 7 yr old girl and just had a baby 3 months ago. Although my daughter is handling it very well (she  is much older than your daughter and can understand the situation much better), I still try to make time with her alone, so she doesn't feel that she has been  "replaced". We have one night a week that I leave my son with my husband and we go out to dinner just her and I. W call it "girl's time". I also let her participate in the baby care, with age appropriate tasks.  In your case is much more difficult because she is still so little, but maybe you can have her pick out the baby clothes for the day, watch you give the baby a bath, anything that would make her part of  taking care of the baby and making her the big sister, so she understands little by little that she has a wonderful new role in the family now. I think is important that she doesn't get punished too much for her behavior, so it doesn't build even more resentment. Even though she can only understand so much, try to talk to her as much as possible, and praise her when she does good things for the new baby.
Good luck!

[megochick101]

My son was just over 2 also when I had my daughter brianna, and he wasn't happy at first. He was nice to the baby for the most part but he was just constantly acting up. I found that just giving him little tasks to do to help me with the baby made him so much better. He'd throw away diapers for me, get wipes and new diapers, helped me pick out clothes and get the baby sock and get the wash cloth for the baby's bath etc. And whenever he helped me i would tell him he was doing such a great job and being the best big brother ever. Also playing with both of them at the same time helped and setting up some special time with him when he was being nice to the baby helped alot.

He did get better over time though and now my daughter is 7 months and mikey's almost 3. He still helps me out and plays with the baby (shakes her rattle for her and gives her toys to play with) and is such a good brother. If the baby cries, he'll tell me, and then he'll rub her head and try and give her kisses to make her feel better. I think once you involve your daughter with the new baby it should work out. And whenever she is nice to the new baby praise her like crazy lol Just set up little jobs she can do because she has a big important role as a big sister, adn set time out each day to spend one on one time with her.

[mommydaddy]

Just including the young child does NOT always solve the issue. Our son is 11 months old and my Daughter is now 3 and she is STILL aggressive with him. We are excellent parents and have tried every different method out there and she still does it. Sometimes there just isnt anything that will change their behavior.

[mommi17]

i hav a 1yr old and a 4week old daughter...my daughter does the same exact thing to her sister. It is s very big jealous thing. And my daughter loves blanket and anytime she sees her lil sister with 1 she snatches the blanket away n throws it on the floor or keeps it 4 herself. Its pretty frustrating but u cant get frustrated. And punishing her for it is only going to make it worse. U should take time out every day to show her alone time. Take her a bath with u at night, read her a book, play with her(but just u n her alone). Right now she feels like her mommy is being taken away and by showin her that alone time and letting her help with the baby. Its scary letting my daughter around the baby... im always scared of what shes going to do but i try to teach her how to be gentle n when she trys to hit her or scratch i grab her hand, tell her no(calmly) ,n show her how to be gentle. They just dont kno how to be gentle or play with the babies. My daughter has gotten better and pretty much ignores the baby now. N doesnt act up everytime i hold her