Normal behavior for two 4 year old boy and girl together

[Tra4821]

Myself and my daughter step mother where talking the other day, and she began to tell me that her son was having to go to a therapist because of behavior issues and she can not handle him that may be caused because of to much electricty that is running through one of the lobes in his brain, but she also said he is being seen because he is very sexually interested. He loves womens breasts and is also getting to a point that he has started mastrubating. I was a little concerned of why and how bad it was that he was now seeing a therapist for others things as well as the sexual part. I expressed I was little nervous on having them together and if they were to get alone.
Before I hadn't notive anything and I don't know if I was not listening to my daughter or a paying attention due to lack of knowledge in sexual abuse or normal signs of children.
THat night my daughter was getting dressed for bed and said "mom my boobs are getting big huh?" I replied well you are just growing up and everything will be growing your arms and feet your whole body. The next day she was to do with her dad, step-mother and her son (that is same age) to a pumpkin patch. They ended up not going to the patch and went to there home. When they dropped my daughter back to me when we were getting ready for bed I noticed that she had pen drawn around her right nipple. I asked why she had drew on herself. Her reply was he had done it.
Yesterday morning we were getting ready for the day and were putting her socks on and my daughter states "mom my pee hurts? Me- Your pee hurts? How come? Child- I don't know Me- Well if something hurts its usually because something happened or something is wrong? So what's wrong?  child- He hit me in my pee, and I didn't like it. Me- He hit you why did he hit you? Child- I don't know.
She started to get upset and embarrassing so I just said she can tell me anything things she likes and don't like,, things that are good and things that are bad..
She then said mom he touched my pee pee and I don't like it. Me- He touched you.. No one is to touch your pee pee and if someone does you need to tell mom or dad right away..
She then says that he made her touch his and she didn't like it and started to get upset and so I said lets go park and play lets just me and you spend that day together because I could tell that she was getting upset and didn't want her to think was in trouble or anything and wouldn't talk to me about anything more.
I was upstairs with my roommate that is a female and works in a government daycare. My daughter came up and was telling me about her stuffed animal gorrilla had got bit by and lion. Me- He did why did that lion bite him? Child- I don't know he bit him and then ran away! I had to take him to the doctor! Me- You did! Where did he get bit? She then points to between the legs of the stuffed animal in the area of where the genitals would be. I bend down and ask "why did that lion bite him there? Child_ I don't know. My roomate is in the other room and over heard us and ask "that lion just ran in our house and bit him! Where did he bit him? My daughter got embarrassed and put her head down.. She asks again. " I can't beliveve a lion was in here oh my gosh did he hut you gorilla? Child - Ya he has a bandaid. Roommate - Where is his bandaid? she pointed to the same area between the legs..
I know that some behavior is normal and just children being curious. but my concern is when I spoke to her father and step-mother they have said they have notice it is becoming more then just a curious here and there thing. I was informed they had a situation in shower and just last week my daughter was caught with her pants down and the other boy down by her genitals. Step-mother and father have notice that it is becoming more and more from what I am being told that they are not to have closed doors in the home, they are not to play alone, they dont get under blankets together, are not to bathe or use restroom. Alot of that I understand they are getting older, but I was not informed about anything until she was just telling me about her son and then I noticed things with my daughter that I may or may not of asked a little more in to what she had said not knowing the information before I would of thought nothing of it.
They say I am being over reactive and am blowing this out of portion. I just don't want anything to happen to my daughter and if it is going alittle to far over board I want it stopped. I am not sure of this behavior being normal, but thing that concerns me is if he is going to therapy what is he doing that they are also doing it for sexual matters? I know they are not going to tell me just by the reaction I got on just trying to talk to them about this. They have noticed and problems with the boy and girl, but they didn't tell me if what was going on so I can watch for things of ou daughter when she is at my home. I guess I am lost on what is normal and what is not? Should I be concerned and have her talk to someone or am I being over protective? Can you give me any advice?

[Amber1995]

Sounds to me like your daughter is getting ******.

[babygirl6152]

my opinion- you are not being overprotective nor are you overreacting- A one time thing is understandable- but it is carrying over into your daughter's every-day life, even when and especially when she has left the situation.
I am guessing that the mom with the boy thinks as she has the boy in some sort of therapy she already sees that as all she can do- but you are really at an advantage here as all of this is documented and I guess the judge could subpoena the doc for all the information- at least the initial assessments and diagnosis-
the child is protected by adults- she cannot protect herself- so it is natural for you to go to the next step IMMEDIATELY and ask for her to have visitation with the boy either not present and only your husband seeing her and maybe you supervising? I am not sure how far the court will have to push that......
My guess is that your daughter is doing all the TALKING she needs to do with someone and thank God it is with you- now it is your turn to act responsibly since dad is not-
I am SO sorry you are having to deal with this....don't feel bad for feeling confused though- I think the whole world is now confused on what is normal and what is NOT....

good luck honey