Normal mother-son relationship?

[illeisist]

Hi there,

My question is I would say fairly simple, I am a 44 years old single mother who has remarried, I have a son and a daughter ages 20 and 18. My spouse also has children of various ages.
Now I am often at work all week, and as a result I do not get to see my kids as often as I would like, sometimes I don't get to see them at all for the entire week except for a small Hi/Goodnight before bed.

Now my spouse is an Orthodox Jew, and he attends Synagogue on Saturdays usually from 7:30 until 8:45 which leads me to my question.

During this hour and 15 minutes, my son often stays home so that he can spend time with me (And so that I am not alone all by myself), this usually involves us sitting down or laying on couches in the living room (not the same couch) just talking. While this seems perfectly fine to me, since I don't get to see my kids often during the week, my spouse has difficulty accepting this, claiming it is 'not a normal relationship' and his points were:

It is not normal for him to want to spend time with you instead of going out on a saturday
It is even more not normal that you want to spend time with him instead of being with friends or doing anything else

So I was hoping if someone could tell me, Is this normal/abnormal? is it not right to spend an hour a week with ones own child at that age? Should he want to spend time with his friends instead of talking to me? Is he just showing respect by not leaving me alone at home or is it something else?

Thank you very much for your time.

[judithhannah]

A related discussion, Turning 50 was started.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

As you describe the situation, there is nothing on the face of it that should be the cause for any alarm or unusual objection. For a parent to spend a small amount of time each week to talk with a young adult child is fine. The single aspect of your description that stood out to me was the observation that your son stays with you so that you would not have to be alone. Now that is a bit unusual, since it really should not be a problem (unless you require some special assistance) for you to alone while your husband attends temple. Also, if your son relies on you for comapnionship instead of developing relationships with peers, that would be problematic, but that is not really what you are indicating.

[angel6382]

I am not an expert, but I am a 22 year old girl who loves to spend time with both her parents.  I also have 21 year old (twin) best friends who are boys and I know they always spent time with their mom.   They now go to college and have their own apartment, but they often drive home on the weekend just to spend a little time with their mother.  I majored in psychology (does not make me and expert) but I don't think sitting and talking is a weird relationship.  I would be happy that he wants to spend the time with you.
Not to interject any bad feelings, but is it possible that your husband is just jealous of the time you are spending with your son.  Either because you aren't spending it with him...or simply because he doesnt have that kind of relationship with his kids.
This is just my two cents, but it sounds like a perfectly fine relationship to me.