Nutty Professor?

My 10 yr old son had been identified as "gifted"  I was told he had "superior" intelligence.  Since he was a toddler I noticed behavioral traits that would be considered "different" from most boys/kids his age.  Things like no common sense, he hasn't a competitive bone in his body, etc.  He doesn't seem to "fit" in with other children although his personality is gentle and naturally accepting.  He usually seems preoccupied and I have always lovingly called him my Nutty Professor.  How can I help him to fit in socially and feel accepted?  Are there other methods that can be applied to children like this to help him with social skills?  I am afraid that as time goes on, he may become an introvert and avoid people altogether.  Although I must add that because of his preoccupation he doesn't seem to pick up on social cues, such as, when other children "reject" him or maybe he has learned to keep those feelings of rejection inside? Are this normal occurances for children like this and are there sources for me to learn more about this?  Thanks  Karen

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Karen,

Children who are not intuitively social do face a challenge. It's easy for them to be viewed as odd or eccentric, and to fail to establish a circle of friends.

There's a simple goal for you, though. It is to keep your son 'in the mix' - i.e., to be sure, season by season, to have him engaged in some activity of a group sort outside of school. You know the old maxim 'practice makes perfect'? Well, it certainly applies to social relationships. There's no way to learn except to be involved in interactional activities with other children. You may need to do a bit of pushing or gentle prodding/encouragement to accomplish this, but it's the sensible thing to do.

[lynda]

Karen,
I have an eleven year old son who has the exact same problem. I have had him in scouts since second grade and it really helps. He still has problems with the kids in school, but the kids he goes to scouts with help him feel accepted. They have even come to his defense at school. The scouts make him feel normal and admire his gifts of problem solving and his talents in science. I feel scouting is the best thing that has happened to him.