Our 4.5 yr old

[towzer]

Folks my wife and I have a beautiful little boy we adopted about 3.5 yrs ago
He was a preemie at only 960 grams
He has caught up a lot on his weight and height and is now in the 30th percentile
He is in school and one of the things that keeps coming up is time outs

He is getting ( usually one daily ) from the teachers

My wife and I have sought help through a Psychologist who has met him a few times
She basically has ruled out any ADD, ADHD etc

My wife and I are seeing her again in 2 weeks but in the meantime is there anything we can do to help
He does get the odd time out at home but otherwise is excellent

I know that the other kids get time outs as well but he just seems to get a lot more than them and the teacher told him today any more time outs he gets taken to the Principals office
Just curious as why he is getting them more than others

He is very bright, can read now, won the spelling bee competition etc etc

Any thoughts???

[Sandman2]

      First let me say, I do understand where you are coming from.  I have a very good friend whose son was about the same weight and ya, you tend to be very protective.    
         ok, a few basics here.  In California you have to be 6 by Sept 1 to be in first grade or 5 by sept. 1 to be in kindergarten.  So what grade is he in?  He is 4.5.  If he is in kindergarten, he is very young which could be at least part of the  problem.   And maybe most importantly - how long has he been in class with this teacher!
        The fact that a behavioral specialist sat in on the class does make it sound like its a public school as private schools typically can't afford that.
        The teachers response makes me think that he can turn it off and on (and he sounds smart enough to do so).    To me, if he is young, smart, and in his first weeks of school -- then he and the teacher are sorting this out.  And it will sort out.  However, you don't get a behavioral specialist in to observe a kid in the first weeks of school.  It just don't happen.  
       So there is some missing pieces here.  And even though I spent some time as an elementary school principal - I can't put the pieces together.
        So questions:  What country or state are you in?  What grade is he in?  How long has he been with this teacher?  Who asked for the behavioral specialist and why?
       Also, I should add that it is standard practice for doctors not to diagnose a child with AD/HD until they are 6 or in a school setting.   Perhaps that is why the psyc ruled it out - but she should have told you that.  So lots of missing info.
      My gut feeling is to give it a few more weeks and see what happens.  But, the age thing/grade thing is really important.  

[RockRose]

And I have to ask - what kind of words are there in a spelling bee for kids under 5?  

I really CAN'T imagine a spelling bee for a 4 year old.  They should be out making chalk designs on the driveway,  running through the sprinkler,  trying to climb trees  and collecting bugs in a jar.  

A 4 year old should not be sitting in a class trying to memorize by rote the letters in a word,  before they can really actually read and write.  

[RockRose]

towzer, it's very apparent you think the teacher  kind of "has it out" for our child.  

I can validate that,  that does seem to happen sometimes.  

I think you need to be more forceful in your questions in that direction.  You believe the teacher doesn't like your child.  

In that case,  I think you need to gear your questions in that direction, and follow through in that way.  

[towzer]

yes it could be anything from not listening, or playing with something while the teachers are trying to group them together
Typical 4 yr old stuff
Nothing physical its just that he does it more than any of the other kids so we wanted to make sure everything was ok as he is a micro preemie at 960 grams when he was born

The Behaviour specialist sat in his class 2 months ago and said there was nothing out of the ordinary
In fact he was very inquisitive on why she was there and asked her loads of questions
The teachers response to my wife and i when he had that good day was " he just happened to have a great day today- figures when the Dr was in here to analyse him"

[margypops]

sorry I dont understand why he needs a Psychologist because he gets time outs at school or rather a time out ..I maybe missing something here ..what is it he does, may I ask for a scenario of his behavior.?

[tiredbuthappy]

I agree that you need to meet with the teachers and find out what specific behaviors are occuring. Is he simply not following routine, is he hurting others, is he acting out, etc.?

I get many kids that are very bright, but have difficulty functioning in a group environment. Some are overwhelmed by social situations, others by the sensory input. Others are simply used to getting their way at home, and have difficulty complying with rules and routines.

[RockRose]

He won a spelling bee at 4 1/2 years old?  

I think you need more information.  Specifically,  what behaviors are leading to time outs for him.  

It sounds like you need to meet with the teacher - from what i can tell here you're just kind of guessing what the atmosphere in the classroom is -

Best wishes.