Our 9-year old holds his poop: Are we making it worse?

Our 9-year old son constantly holds his poop.  He frequently gets the urge to go but will often run off into a corner or back bedroom to hold his hold and suppress his bowel movements.  I really think this is much more of a psychological problem than a medical one. This has been going on for about 2 years or more and we just don't know what the responsible thing is to do.  

(1) Our first question is...does this have anything to do with Freud's "Anal Retentive" theory?
(2) And more importantly, could it be that my wife and I are making matters worse by nagging our son and inadvertently making him feel ashamed for his behavior?  What course of action should we consider and what positive actions or encouragements can we practice with our son?

I suspect you get these "POOP" questions frequently and I greatly appreciate your help and suggestions.
~iwaldrop77  //  Southeast Tennessee

[RockRose]

I have a minor in Psych from 1981,  major in Sociology,  and I think even back then Freud's theories are pretty much in question.  Freud was a bit whack.  I really think we can toss "anal retentive".  

Is your son hesitant in other ways?  Socially, is he inhibited?  Does he have other real difficulties with compulsions?    Has something happened to traumatize him?

The other thought is,  does he have long term  issues with constipation?  Have you put him on citrucel,  or metamucil,  or very high bran fiber cereal to deal with constipation issues?  

I don't think at this point I would worry about shame.  You don't sound at ALL like a shaming parent.  He's 9 years old,  and he's making himself constipated.  Frankly,  that's something that SHOULD cause  a nine year old to  feel real pressure from parents.    

I don't think,  reading your post,  that its you causing any problems for him.

Best wishes.

[margypops]

I sometimes think that 'nagging' ,your words, and too much attention to a behavior makes it worse, so it wouldnt hurt to take a step back and leave him alone and see what happens .If he is constipated some metamucil or similar may help.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd just put Benefiber in his food every day, without telling him what it is or why (or even letting him see you do it).