Our six year old still throws a tantrum when he doesn't get his way.

Our six year old still tends to throw himself on the floor or run into another room just for telling him no. He also has a problem yelling and crying if he doesn't get his way. We have four children and he's the youngest, none of the older one's have this problem, although on occasion the behavior has rubbed off on his older sister. I think that some the behavior is to draw more attention to himself in a house of four children but we both give him lots of attention and love. We also worry about this behavior because it has carried on to school and school can be ruff on kids with soft hearts. We don't want him to lose the love he has for school right now because of kids picking on him for crying, whining etc. He's a very smart kid and he learns very fast, but if something don't change soon I fear that he might start to have huge problems in school and I really don't want that to happen. I would just like to know if anybody can give us any suggestions about how to toughen him up. Any help would be great because my wife and I have been trying for quite so time now with very little results to show for it (although there has been some). Thank you for at least taking the time to read, and I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank  

[supermomma531]

The only thing I can offer you in advice is to be consistant in everything you do, especially when it comes to discipline. Children need to learn that there is a consequence for every action. As for school, he needs to learn how to handle things on his own with maybe a little help from his parents, teachers, etc.If we as parents keep interferring in their social life and not allow them to figure out on their own how to handle a situation, then they'll potentially be dependant on us or others for a majority of their lives. We can teach them right from wrong and guide them in the right way, but ultamitly it is up to them to figure out how to socialize with their peers. This is good for them to morally and socially grow into mature adults. I think that you and your wife need to be more consistant and quick to stop the behaviour. As soon as it starts, give him no more than 2 forwarnings with what the consequences will be, if he or any other child still continues to act up, then after the 2 warnings, the 3rd must be the consequence. Whether it is time out or house chores or what ever you use for punishments, they need to know you're not playing around. Hope this helps out. After the punishment is done, make them talk to you about what they did wrong and what they should of done to avoid punishment and to making the right choices. Good luck!

[allmymarbles]

Tantrums are meant to manipulate you. When he has these fits ignore him completely. Read a book. Leave he room. Don't speak. Offer no sympathy or comfort. He will have a few bad days, and perhaps a worsening of his tantrums - and then he will give up. This is bad behavior and should be treated as such.

[margypops]

I agree with allmymarbles ..ignore the behavior do not make more of it ...

[NickandDeb]

the only problem with that is we have four children an the oldest two tend to interfere with that no matter how much we try to stop it. I agree with what you said and have tried it, but like I said every time I ignored him his brother or sister will interfere. We tell them to leave them be but it's hard for the teenagers to ignore .

[margypops]

Thats the problem then you have to be in charge not his siblings ,hes feeling ganged up on, it wont change unless .you take control, you are the parent ,its upsetting him and he is acting out .

[allmymarbles]

Ditto margypops. I was just going to say the same thing when I read your entry. Now we also see the tantrums as a manifestation of the general lack of parental discipline.