Dear Linda,
Yes, it's possible, but by no means necessary, that your son's behavior disorder is related to hydocephaly. At the bottom line, of course, whether it is related or not, it needs to be managed.
In general, the tactis you are using make sense. The key will be the manner in which you are using them. Rather than even attempt to offer you specifics in this kind of format, I suggest you contact a child behavioral helath clinician. You will need ongoing help and support, and it makes sense to establish a relationship with a clinician who can assist you. Your son's behavior does not reflect a normal-spectrum child behavior problem.