Outpatient Commitment and Return home plan

We are a family that has been experiencing escalating problems with 16yo son for majority of his childhood. This escalation has dramatically increased with sporadic violent episodes in last 6 months.  (in home only we believe)  Saturday he was involuntary commited for evaluation.  State law dictated action if not being arrested.They felt he needed the psche eval (which we definately agree with).  I went to his team treatment meeting yesterday: I now know he is NOT suffering from clinical depression (no other diagnosis were mentioned, and I am so overwhelmed by process I forgot to ask.)  They did say they felt he would be better served by receiving treatment outside of hospital so they are recommending Friday release with 90 day outpatiet commitment.  It is my understanding: this means that if he refuses to go to therpay they can bring him back to the hospital.  Now we begin a dizzing process of setting up appropriate therapy, including family therapy and also must be investigated by DCFS to see if he can safely return home...to be done by Friday I believe.  I know I am leaving out alot of details you would probably like to know but my question is one of strategies.

We are obviously going to need to sit down and rework our parenting contract (which he basically ignored before).  ER doc and ER counselor mentioned this may be ODD and I understand we cannot move forward with this until hospital makes a determination.  In meantime, we need to make a very short list of what husband, self and siblings need to feel safe. It was also suggested by counselor that we not concentrate too much on protecting him from his actions. But as you can imagine, we are very overwhelmed with this whole process and my imagination for fruitful rewards or consequences is greatly lacking.  I noted you recommend SOS Help for Parents for children between 2 and 12.  Do you have any resources that I may familiarize myself for Teens?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your question should be the focus of the discharge planning at the hospital. In other words, what are the 'conditions' under which he should be discharged to home? The priority is always safety, for others and for him. Thus, this implies that, should threats to safety occur, some plan would be implemented for him to be referred immediately for out-of-home placement (e.g., adolsecent group home or residential treatment center). Beyond that, the 'contract' that governs his behavior should address fundamental matters: school attendance, self care, abstinence from drugs/alcohol, curfew, peer relations, activities).

[Wow_can_I_do_this]

We now have a diagnosis.  He is ODD with extreme family issues.  Right now, I am to pick him up from hospital tomorrow 11/9 at 5:00, Regardless of what DCFS says.  They indicated 5:00 so they have a chance to revisit the return to home plan.  We are now desperate to have a plan for him coming home (sibling is very scared).  I need to focus on neccessaties now to give us peace of mind that we can go to next step.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

See prior reply. Also, you might benefit from Scott Sell's book Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: Seven Steps to Re-establish Authority and Reclaim Love.  Another useful book re: parenting teens is Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting of Teenagers (Dinkmeyer, McKay & McKay).

[Wow_can_I_do_this]

Thank you very much.  DCFS turned out to be a wealth of help and they circled the wagons around us to sit down and make a safety plan as well as provide us many community service options.  They too were concerned with his discharge on a Friday night (long weekend, school is out Monday) and thought this was a bad idea but local mental health resources turned us down for a respit stay for weekend.  In short:  they felt the hospital was setting him up to fail (he does really well in structured school setting and felt they should have considered this for his discharge.)

He is home now, he is making a real effort, sibling is staying with friend for weekend (as I said he is scared).  I am thankful for the resources you provided...that is exactly what I personally need and I know my husband feels the same:  we simply lack the tools not the will.  In the meantime, I will keep to your short list and I am feeling very encouraged.