Overattchment in one year old

My just turned one year old daughter will have absolute tantrums (crying, screaming, etc)if I am not constantly holding her or paying direct attention to her. It has been this way since she was about 4 months old. The minute I pick her up, she immediately stops crying. If I set her down to brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, etc. she asks like it's the end of the world. Even if she is right next to me with toys while I am folding laundry, it is not enough. On the other hand, she goes down for naps and bedtime right away - no crying. If I am not around, she is perfectly fine, but if she hears my voice, or sees me come into a room, she immediately starts crying and races towards me. I leave her with a babysitter two afternoons a week, and she is perfectly content. She does not exhibit this behavior towards anyone else - just me, her mother. I have tried spending as much "one on one" time with her as possible, but I feel guilty for my three year old son, as we are all getting extremely frustrated on how to handle the constant crying and whining. Any help and insight would be GREATLY appreciated!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Overall, it sounds like your daughter is developing well. You'll be able to wean her from this demand that you be holding her. In order to lessen her demand for this, be sure not to gratify it when the timing is not really convenient. In other words, I am not suggesting that you never hold her, but that you take the initiative some of the time, and at other times when she asks you in a sensible way and you are able to do it. If you decline to hold her and she is making a loud fuss, ignore it and go about your business. If her noise is really an interference for the rest of the family, place her in her crib until the crying subsides. The basic strategy is to disallow her behavior from dictating events.