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PROBLEM WITH MY 5 YEARS OLD SON.
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PROBLEM WITH MY 5 YEARS OLD SON.

I feel like I am so helpless and I can not figure our my son's behavior any more.  I have two boys 8 and 5 and my problem is with my 5 year old who shouts and picks up bad words and repeats it constantly.  Everytime he wants something and I say no he gets mad and he shouts and hits and says "you're  stupid head" or "I hate you" and he gets more mad and he starts hitting and kicking and throwing things at me or other places.  I give him time outs, send him to his room, ground him.  Nothing seems to be working anymore.  We never use bad language at home and we are not a violent family.  So I can not figure out how he got to be like this.  My husband and I have never even spank our kids and my other son is a very calm and caring and he also  bullys him too.  He goes to preschool and there are no complaints of him and they say he is very good and gets along with everyone and all his friends love to play with him.  He is very smart and is very intelegent for his age as well.  He has a very strong personality and he is so fearless.  He can never be pushed over by anyone.  He is very bossy and too confident.
I am so worried about him.  I don't know what to do with him.  I have to admit that I have been so frustrated with him that I have been shouting and yelling at him and I have told him if you don't stop I will send you to manner school which it kind of scared him.  Pleas help and tell me what to do.
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Go to the doctor-patient forum on this website and read a post entitled "out-of-control 3 y/o"  Your son's behavior has a similar tone, thought the child is younger.  Read Dr. Kennedy's recommendations.  Bascially, you need to set up a behavior plan.  Strict consequences for negative and inappropriate behavior.  You must be very consistent, using the same consequences for the negative behavior.  Some consequences might be restricting computer/video game use, restricting play with favorite toys, tv programs.  Use praise and sensible rewards for positive and appropriate behavior, treats, some special privaledges.

If you are consistent in your approach to your son's behavior it will change in a few weeks.  The key is consistenteny!  I have set up a behavior plan with my kids aged 4 and 2.5 y/o.  Things are definately not perfect but they are more compliant and my home is a more peacful place!  Best wishes...
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he may have heard this on TV, just make sure he doesn't watch anything violent shows. try to visit this site http://besthealthoptions.com/baby-child-care, iv'e learned a lot from it. gud day!
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Avatar_f_tn
MomKay,

If you haven't been able to manage your son's behavior with a behavioral plan such as the one suggested by the psychologist you were seeing than indeed your son may be displaying signs of a emotional or behavioral disorder.  You may need medication to manage this.  OCD can be effectively treated with medication.  Alot of us parents are terrified at the thought of putting our kids on meds, rightfully so.  However, many kids are more able to manage their behavior and improve their functioning with the judicious use of medication.  Did you ever recieve a referral from the psychologist or other doctor to a psychiatrist?  A psychiatrist is an MD who can eval. your son's behavior and address it with medication if that is an approriate intervention.  Even if medication is an appropriate intervention, a solid behavior plan will still need to be in place.  It is likely that counseling individual, family many be an important component of a treatment plan for your son.

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Avatar_n_tn
I have the same issues with my 4-yr old (to be 5 in May). He is the 3rd child (I have 2 daughters-14 and 10) so I know about "normal" tantrums. My son does very well at school thankfully, but at home he can't handle frustration or not getting his way. He hits, screams, uses the same phrase as your son "stupid head". We have been seeing a psychologist for 8 months who gave us the advice as Dr. Kennedy gave the person w/a 3-yr old. The Dr. also told us we would see a change in as little as 1 month. My son is no better today than last year. We have tried time-outs, taking away toys, spanking, rewards and sticker charts for positive behavior, etc.. etc... The Dr labeled my son as ODD for a brief time, later saying it's possible that my son has childhood bipolar - but my son is wonderful at school. I am not interested in a label, just a solution!

I am terrified for him! He's so aggressive now that I can't imagine what will happen when he's bigger. He is such a sweet, loving boy when he's not having a meltdown, unfortunately meltdowns are regular! I am currently reading "The Explosive Child" and it is really hitting home... I've also started removing dairy and wheat/gluten from our diet...replacing the dairy with Rice milk, as 2 of my kids have shown an intolerance to Dairy.

I am desperately seeking strategies that will help my son cope better with life! If he gets upset in the car, he will start throwing things at me...when he goes into a meltdown, it's like he's on drugs - totally no control and no reasoning with him. We spend the majority of our time trying to avoid meltdowns.

Many of my friends tell me he's just a boy, he'll grow out of it...I'm so scared that he won't. It's like he is still in the terrible 2 stage, only bigger and more aggressive. I have 2 other children and know this is not normal!

Any advice is much appreciated!
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Avatar_n_tn
my son is displaying similar behaviour, i am at my wits end i do not know what to do with him, the only difference is that i am getting reports from preschool that he is behaving badly at preschool also whenever he does not get what he wants he acts out by hitting the other children he just recently punched a kid in the nose and made him bleed. I am so worried about his behaviour i have been called by the preschool teachers to have a meeting with them to discuss his behaviour. i have tried sending him to his room, i have tried reasoning with him and exlpaining to him that he is not allowed to hit other children, we have tried taking things off him, i have even tried smaking him (i do not like this method but at time lost all patience) we have also tried rewarding all good behaviour and nothing has worked to stop him. I am wondering if there is something wrong with my boy however can i say when he is good he is delightfull you look at him and could not imagine him ever being like this. He has an older sister and just recently received a baby brother is there any help out there i have rung all sorts of places to get help but no one can come up with anything that has worked.
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