Panic Attacks at four yrs old??!!

I have a four year old little girl.  She is sweet and smart and silly...but this past year-more and more- I notice she is having difficulty with social situations.  When we are leaving the house, at the grocery, on a bike ride, at the playground, sometimes even on a playdate with her friend, my daughter will cry, shake, stutter, scream, pull her hair, hide under the table, pinch me? and start breathing really fast..it is not always and sometimes I notice it is when I am feeling anxious and trying to act like I am fine-but she picks up on it...but not always...I'm really worried.  I suffer from anxiety and I really don't want her to have to go through this. I feel so awful, like this is my fault, but I always try to hide my panic from my kids..what do I do?!

[specialmom]

To add to the comments above and my ones from the anxiety forum-------- another thing that is really helpful with little ones is to "role play" or act out being anxious and how to work through it.  Act like you can't find the car keys and act very upset. (in a funny way, not scary or upsetting).  Be exagerated so she laughs.  Then go through the steps to calm yourself down.  Self talk, do the hands opening and closing, etc. even the going to a calm down/cool down spot.  Ask for help, use your words---------  all of those right actions for an anxious moment.  Then show yourself in the "play" as being calm and resolving the problem.  Do this several times for her.  Kids will follow your lead and she may internalize some of these ways to work through a "moment".  good luck

[Sandman2]

   Ohhh, that's hard to watch your own child go through any kind of action like that.  The normal thing is to teach them how to handle panic attacks (if that is what it is).  But at that age, I would guess that you need to keep it really simple.
   My best suggestion is to ask the same question on the anxiety forum.  There have got to be posters on there that have had experience with this and can help you.  Good luck.

[jdtm]

I don't think that your daughter is suffering from panic attacks - I suspect what you are seeing is social anxiety.  Research today feels this is a genetic trait so I suspect your daughter has inherited this gene.  Don't feel "awful" - it is what it is.  Anxiety is common and highly treatable.

Your first mode of action should be to visit your family doctor.  If he/she is unable to help you, then ask for a referral to a medical mental health specialist as a child neurologist or child psychiatrist or a physician with experience in anxiety issues.  The treatment tends to be mulit-modal - intervention and perhaps therapy and/or medication.  You do not need to suffer from anxiety and neither does your child.  One can learn how to manage "fears and anxieties" but as you know, anxiety does not go away nor will your daughter outgrow it  It does not need to impact one's life in a huge negative way.  A dear friend of mine suffered from severe anxiety and when she noticed that her daughter also inherited this trait, she sought help for herself first - and then, was able to help her daughter.  Today both are doing so well (but it was a long, long struggle - well worth it, though).

There's lots of information on the internet and in bookstores/libraries re anxiety and children.  If you are not educated in this this, then please do so.  There is hope - please seek help.  I wish you the best ....

[RockRose]

I agree that she's probably inherited anxiety from you - it is genetic.  

I also think you are to be applauded for hiding your anxiety and panic and just trying to get through it without an incident or a big fuss.  By watching you do this,  she will learn this philosophy of soldiering on and not necessarily becoming a slave to her emotions and anxiety.

Good job.  Everyone has fears,  difficulties and problems - and the ones who have the best lives are those who just try to get through it without buckling under.  I think your daughter will do the same.

[specialmom]

To add to the comments above and my ones from the anxiety forum-------- another thing that is really helpful with little ones is to "role play" or act out being anxious and how to work through it.  Act like you can't find the car keys and act very upset. (in a funny way, not scary or upsetting).  Be exagerated so she laughs.  Then go through the steps to calm yourself down.  Self talk, do the hands opening and closing, etc. even the going to a calm down/cool down spot.  Ask for help, use your words---------  all of those right actions for an anxious moment.  Then show yourself in the "play" as being calm and resolving the problem.  Do this several times for her.  Kids will follow your lead and she may internalize some of these ways to work through a "moment".  good luck

[sprout690]

Thank you-your response made me cry.  No one has ever told that before.  My husband always seems to be frustrated with my anxiety...watching my mom struggle as a child left me feeling scared and confused.  I wanted different for my children.  I missed out on so many different opportunities because of this genetic trait.  Your comment meant a lot to me.