Panic attacks at bedtime

[Melissa6]

My question is how to handle my 7 year olds sleep anxiety.  This has been going on for over a year.  She only wants to sleep on my floor! She panics at bedtime and it takes us about 1-2 hours to get her to go to sleep in her own room or another room besides ours .  She was sharing a bedroom with her little 3 year old sister.  But we had to separate them because she was keeping the 3 year old awake and wanted us in there laying with her until she fell asleep.  Then the 3 year old started wanting us to lay with her til she fell asleep too!  We moved my 7 year old to another bedroom closer to ours. She says she only can sleep if a grown up is with her or someone years older. We still have to lay with her for 30 minutes to an hour in the new bedroom. Then she wants us to check on her every 5 minutes.  She will eventually fall asleep but the minute she wakes up in middle of the night, she immediately comes and gets on my floor.  I try to walk her back to the other bedroom but she panics and cries and begs to stay in my room.  This goes on ALL night long!  I have tried tons of different techniques without success. She has seen two counselors and we try all kinds of things. We are exhausted. Aside from this nightime behavior she is a wonderful kid. She makes good grades and has lots of friends,etc. Her real dad is totally against medication, (I am remarried), and she doesn't do this with him because her bedroom at his home is right next to his. Also she doesn't stay at his house that much. I have her with a new counselor but we haven't made much progress yet. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


This discussion is related to 10 year old w/fear of sleeping alone.

[momagain59]

("Her real dad is totally against medication.")

I would say, you are her Mom and if you feel medication would benefit her, I would give it to her. What can he do about it? I would hate to feel this way every night. It would not mean she would be on the meds forever, just long enough to get through this.

[Melissa6]

Thanks,

I know what you are saying. I agree , I'm her mom and it breaks my heart to see her go through this every night.  The problem is that by court order her real dad is to be be able to have a say in all her medical treatment. I have to notify him of every appt. and consult with him on any meds or recommendations. The good news is that we just went back to court and the counselor testified that she felt my daughter needs medicine short term to learn how to calm herself at night and recommends she she a psychiatrist.  The judge ruled that we have to follow the recommendations of her counselor.  My ex isn't happy about it and is still begging me NOT to put her on medication.He says she will get addicted to it and be on meds the rest of her life! I know that isn't true, I am a nurse. But now he really can't say anything because if he goes against it he will be violating a court order. It's just hard because he makes me feel SO BAD about it and says that if she lived with him she would be fine. He says that is what this is all about is that she doesn't see him enough.  He loves to push my buttons.  She is a very happy child otherwise and we are very close. Soo anyways I am setting her up with a psychiatrist to see what they say.  Getting into an appt. will take several weeks.  In the meantime I am still frustrated and don't know what to do to help her. Last night was a little better. She only woke me up 3 times. Thanks for your comment.:)

[jdtm]

Sometimes there are topics that make no sense to discuss.  It sounds to me that whenever your daughter's father tries to "discuss/argue" about the living arrangements of his daughter (and he probably feels he is getting the short end of the stick), you just need to say "well, the court has already made that decision" and then keep repeating it until the topic is dropped.  Nothing good will come from ruminating this topic.  If need be, just walk away or hang up the telephone.  

[momagain59]

I see why you are not with him anymore. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

[mccabe]

Hi im so glad i have read your post. I have just today posted a question myself about my 9 year old son . My son has been in our bed on and off for the past 3 years. The past year most nights. He is a happy confident boy who loves school anf has lots of friends, he is always going to peoples houses and has no problem going out without us. When he was 6 he was very upset when we left him with a sitter, this was the start of the problems. If he sleeps alone he cannot get to sleep he feels sick and sometimes is. If he is in my bed he is fine. The problem we have is that he would love to go for sleepovers , he has tried but every time we have to pick him up. He now wants to go on a 2 night school trip. Help.,,,, what should we do i know how he will be but should i encourage him or not. We have not seen a councellor as i feel this will make him more anxious about the problem.