Play with your child daily?

[Barbara295]

My husband and I have an only child she's 8 years old and she asks me to play with her more than 1 time a day. I do play with her, my husband not as much. She has lots of friends in the neighborhood she plays with but the first question out of her mouth as soon as she gets home is, " mommy can you play me"? How do I say no without hurting her self esteem and she thinking she's not important? She never wants to play by herself. Please give me the best verbage on how to handle this?

Thank you,

[specialmom]

Great ideas supermomma!!!  Hope all is well with you.

[supermomma531]

Maybe you could set aside some play time with your daughter for a half hour everyday when she gets home so that you and her have that bonding time and she gets a break from the homework issues but then while you're cooking dinner, she could be amusing herself or finishing her homework. Make this a consistent schedule unless something else arises. Do you have a family game night where all of you sit around the table and play board games? I think this is where families have lost their time with each other. Even my own family but we're working on this. Do you ever have your daughter help with house chores or making dinner? This could be a great way of doing things together and getting your stuff done as well as incorporating the time to play with her. This is a perfect age to start teaching her how to do the minor things in a kitchen such as cleaning and cooking and maybe baking as well. Kids always seem to like to stir stuff in a bowl and feel like their are being great helpers. Also too, have a talk with her about your stuff that you need to get done but reassure her that she comes first. Let her know that everything you do, you do for her. Everything takes time to do properly as well. You can incorporate fun into almost anything that you do. When I clean or cook with my kids, we will have the radio on and listening to music and singing and dancing around because this is what we like to do. It may take longer to complete but at the end, we've spent time together having fun and the housework has been done. I think that you'll be able to do this. It just takes one day at a time. Good luck.

[whirlygirl820]

My son is 12 and an only child  and I already miss that constant "Play with me, Ma!"  I used to get between the ages of 4 and 11!   At the time though - it was very hard to play all the time!   I had housework and a job and a husband and I had to cook and take care of the pets.. its' a lot of responsibility!  And then try to find time for yourself - forget it!  I couldn't be his constant play toy!  Unfortunately - he used video games to fill in that time.  ugh!  Not good.  but it is very hard to always, always play.  they definitely need to learn to "cope" with boredom and learn to amuse themselves.  Or they wind up being very selfish..  I wish I had just been tougher and said "Go do a puzzle - read a book - draw a picture" whatever.."  Life is not always entertaining - they need to entertain themselves..  it makes them strong and self reliant.  
He is very much into his friends now and really only wants me to drive him places!  lol!   And I can't say I don't wish for one more day of "Please, play with me Mom??"   But I know that I did try to play as much as I could and keep up with my responsibilty without feeling guilty..  Being a mom is one tough balancing act, isnt it??  LOL!

[RockRose]

I know,  Specialmom.  I really wish I knew you in person,  I think we would be great friends.  I smile and agree with everything you say.  

[specialmom]

Rockrose----   we were writing at the same time.  Said differently but we said the same thing!

[specialmom]

Why in heavens name would you say no?  Your child is asking for interaction with you . . . play a game with her.  You can play a game with her when she gets home for a half an hour and then say, okay----  how about you x while I start dinner.  She's been gone at school and is excited to see you or am I missing the point?  

[RockRose]

Barbara,  you are REALLY missing precious time.   You are  making a mistake you will regret by not playing with her when she comes home.  

I have 3 teenage boys,  and let me tell you they grow up SO FAST.

I can't imagine what you're doing that's more important than playing with your child when she comes home from school.  My sister cross stitched a poem for me when my first child was born.  Maybe you'll like it.

I hope that my child, looking back on today
Will remember a mother who had time to play;
Because children grow up while you're not looking,
There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.
So, quiet now cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Really,  Barbara,  you're missing the boat.  This is why Grandmas are wise enough to play and play and play.  Because time with children is precious beyond words