Please Help! My 2 year old is out of control!

[cchafee227]

My 2 year old son is completely out of control. He destroys everything he touches, rips books, snaps CD's in half, throws things, screams until the veins pop out in his face. We have tried time outs and yelling and spankings and talking to him or taking things away, nothing helps. He has no attention span. He will ask for a viedo and then scream as it starts that he wants something else. We can't even get him to stay seated at the table for a meal, he will take a few bites and run around lilke a madman and then come back and repeat this all over again. We even fear for his safety because he exhibits no fear at all. He jumps through the first floor window screens so we have to keep them locked up all the time. We have to keep his bedroom door locked to keep him and us safe because he would get out and get into things in the kitchen by climbing and even figured out how to snap the covers for the stove knobs so he could turn on the burners! We once took him to the ER after he hit his head on the hard wood floor and three people couldn't hold him down to get an x-ray. He runs from us any chance he gets so we can't even take him out of the house. He goes into the backyard to play but will open the gate and run out into the street. Then he will go directly to anything he knows he shouldn't touch and stand there laughing at you until you are two feet from him before he will stop. I have been trying to be calm with him but it is hard not to get angry. I have tried getting him to sit with me to read, thinking maybe he needed more attention, but he thrashes and throws his head back until he hurts me. In spite of all of this, he is so smart, he knows all of his letters by sight already. I don't know what to do anymore. I am afraid that when he gets ready for preschool, once we manage to get him potty trained, that he will be kicked out because he has such a terrible temperment. My doctor says its because he is 2 and, along with other friends and family, that he will outgrow this behavior. Other mothers have commented that it is because my husband is home taking care of him and our four year old daughter during the day and they have no structure. I am fearing it may be ADHD and don't want to see him drugged at such a young age. Please tell me if there is anything you can think of that I haven't tried! My husband and I would love to have another baby, but I fear that he would actually hurt the child, not on purpose of course, but he is so wild! I love him more than anything, but if I can't get him under control I can't even imagine what he will be like in a few years!

[tbups45]

A related discussion, Two Yr Old Driving Mom Nuts was started.

[Tavionnasmommy]

My daughter is two and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She is very bright but extremely compulsive and doesn't care how you punish her. Nothing works and it's driving me nuts! If any of you truely find a way to help please let me in the loop.

[mommy_101]

Hi my nephew who I babysit regularly has some of the exact same issues as you are all talking about.  He has two wonderful parents.  My brother (his father) was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is somewhat successfully being treated at this time.  Now my mother (who experienced the same problems as you all are with my brother) was told that he had ADHD when my brother was in 3rd grade (he is now 32 y.o.)  We have been educated on the difference between ADHD and bipolar and can see how they may be confused for one another in children. The treatments are not even close.  i wonder if my nephew may have bipolar also.  The aggressiveness and the impulsiveness are the two biggest issues.   The only reason why I even suggest that is becasue I have a friend that has a bipolar 9 yr old who has had the exact same symptoms as you have desribed and the same as my brother who is now an adult and the same as my nephew.  They all match up exactly.  Diagnosing behavior issues is a long process and requires diligence on the part of the parents.  I help raise these two boys (my nephew and my friends son) and it is definately a task to say the least but just keep loving them and use any resource available to get them the help they need.   GOOD LUCK!

[glencoe]

Hi, I am the Australian Mum to a 2 1/2 year old boy & a 9 month old girl.  My son displays the same behaviour problems as you have all described.  I found that since having the baby, he has got worse in some respects.  He continually belts her up, carts her around by the neck (just started under the arms as she is getting too heavy the other way), even tried to put a cushion on her head & lay on her.  The worst thing is that at times he is very affectionate towards her & us.  He is very bright, speaks beautifully & is coordinated although instantly aggressive, loud, doesnt seem to listen to instruction unless its what he wants to do & doesnt learn from punishment ie Triple P (positive parenting program), naughty mat, explaining & last of all smacking.  

I am in the process of getting him assessed as I am at my wits end. Even my close friends dont want him around their kids.

I went to see a paediatrician who immediately prescribed Clonidine.  I have been reading up on it & am just about positive Im not going to give it to him for fear of the side effects.  I am not really happy with the instant drug treatment prescribed as I have also just seen an occupational therapist who thinks he may have Sensory Integration Dysfunction.  She gave me a book called the Out-of-sync child by Carol Kranowitz.  I have read it & am definately going to pursue this road.  It describes him perfectly.  I would recommend this direction to everyone with a child who is "not a normal" terrible two & older. It also talks of learning problems that go hand in hand.  We have also found bread is a trigger for his episodes.  Preservatives have a lot to answer for I think & we will be looking into this more closely too.  Anyway if you only look up the SI Dysfunction on the net, Im sure a few bells will ring.  Good luck to all.

[jgirl34]

I just wanted to comment to the ladies that may have trouble with your children being out of control. Well my son started about 1yrs he would get mad and bite the wooden end tables, and he would bang his head on the floor. I though it would pass simple temper tantrums..NO! that wasn't it, infact he is adhd, and odd, He is in occupational therapy and goes to chidrens hospital once a week, I didn't want my child to be on medication either, but trust me from this point of vi=ew he will be 5 in November they are still trying to adjudt the medication, to where it works best for him, but it does help. I wanted to believe oh its just the terrible 2s but no you need to get him seen by a specialists and a child pediatrician that deals with those sorts of things. He bites everyone, he pinches, you are not aloud to spank him after everyone says to but with this kind of child they do not feel pain and it will make them want to do things more and think its ok to hit and have power! He also if you threaten to spank he will say "I will spank you" He is into everything but toys,the kid is smart as a whip he can get a strangers set of keys and tell you if it goes to the tractor to your car whic one unlocks goes to the ignition and which one unlocks which key id for a dead bolt and for the regualr lock he can name of parts in an engine, he even puts belts in his jeep hes totally fascinated with those kinds of things which some kids that have those problems do and they are very smart! Also it runs in his fathers side of the family bi-polar and the Dr. can't call it that yet but whenever they diagnos adhd in a child before a certian age they will later then well ususally, diagnos bi-polar...But all I can say as far as having another baby , is my little man my youngest son gets hurt consatntly by him he has a bad aggression problem and thats what were trying to get under control! But his little brother take a beatin! Also he is very scare of some things like being upside down or going down slides just another thing to look out for! But I hope I gave some kind of useful advice, just going by experience here andit's rough, just always stay calm, and never get to angry because they start using the same attitude you will, try to have him use his words as much as possible, and time out works very well for mine but we call it the chill out chair , "have to get five minutes in the chill out chair bud" And he hates it but he knows and everytime he gets down its another minute but sometimes that little brain and body gets so worked up he needs that and sometimes you have to do it for him! GoOd luck your family and kids will be in my prayers I know what you are going through!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son's behavior is not simply a manifestation of the terrible twos or any other normal developmental process. His level of disorganization is unusual for his age and warrants some professional attention. A very important ingredient in the development of pre-schoolers is the environment to which they are exposed on a day-to-day basis. Elements of this environment include structure and limit-setting. Obviously I cannot comment on what your son is experiencing in this regard, but it may be an issue. Try to arrange an evaluation for him, and this will include an examination of the daily environment and parenting behavior. It is possible that he is displaying signs of a hyperactivity disorder or mood disorder, but he is only two and this is hard to discern in a child so young. If there is any family history of neurointegrative disorders or mental or emotional disorders he would be vulnerable to such conditons.

[MrsAbraham]

Our sons sound like they could be twins. My son too is wild and very bright. He too could identify all his letters before he was two and learned to read by the time he was 2 1/2. He too is very wild!  A friend of mine suggested I read,