My daughter is 6 years old (turning 7 in 3 months) and she is very possessive over me. If I'm leaving the house just to shop she throws a fit, cries and starts complaining about things that she normally wouldn't, very moody. And if I am to go out with my husband (her father) her tantrums are more magnified. She cannot tolerate me standing with my husband, if we're in our room she will bang the door down and ask "What we're up to". She cannot tolerate her father being affectionate towards me, if he holds me, or even sits next to me. Her relationship with her father has been fine, so long as I am not around. He is very loving towards her, simply put, he wanted a daughter more than anything and cherishes her so. She is the middle child, eldest son is 8, then her at 6 and the youngest is 4. I was worried if it was "child separation anxiety" but it seems as though she resents her father when he is around me. She has no trouble going to school, loves to study, sometimes does resist going to bed but not just around me she does that when she spends days/nights with her aunts (her fathers sisters).
I have no idea what to do, how to approach her, her behavior is impeding our daily lives. I cannot go to the store without her being upset all morning that why I said I'll be going.
If anyone could assist me in any way, I want psychotherapy by a professional to remain as our last resort. I'm hoping she will "grow out of it" but this has been the "norm" since a couple years now.
Hi there. My youngest boy was this way with me and only wanted me but this was more in the toddler years of 3 and 4. I'm curious what you do about it. The way I handled it was i said firmly "no, you are not treating daddy that way." And I walked away from him.
It sounds like you already allow dad and she to spend one on one time, I'd keep that up and find a common activity that they like whatever it may be and have them do it weekly. If he doesn't mind sitting through a movie, he can take her to the movies, they can go on a hike togeher, whatever. Just do lots of things the two of them.
And then when you are around, tell her firmly that this is unacceptable behavior. If she has a tantrum, well. Tantrums over a certain age are not appropriate ways of expressing emotions. She needs this to be made clear to her. I would tell her that she must go to her room and stay there until Daddy wants her to come out which will not be until she can act nice to Daddy. And then YOU take her there and you leave her there. daddy lets her out.
She can melt down and destroy her room with a tantrum if she wants to (but she must clean it up after and if she breaks anything, it is NOT replaced). If she continues, then you begin taking things away.
I don't always go right to punishment, believe me. But this has been going on for two long.
You don't suspect that your husband has hurt her in any way and she is reacting to that, right?
She may have a bit of anxiety but as your post went on, it sounded like she is more manipulative than anything else. She's found a way to get your undivided attention. Don't give it to her or give IN to her. good luck
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