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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
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Possible 'red flags' on child's behavior
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Possible 'red flags' on child's behavior

by Jacque', May 31, 2004 12:00AM
My 21 month old granddaughter is displaying unsettling behavior.  I had not seen her for about 4 months.  She has a single mom, after birth, they lived with her other grandmother for a few months, then moved to another town and lived with her Aunt and a friend, then about 6 months ago her mom with her baby moved in with a boyfriend in another town.  The boyfriend is a very nice, hard-working, devoted partner and daddy to the child.  He seems to adore my granddaughter and has almost totally taken over her care, even changing dirty diapers.  When I saw her this past week-end, this was her behavior:  Has always been an active child, but now, her energy is erratic-she runs from one thing to another, not knowing what she wants, constant whining and frowning-like she's looking for something and never satisfied. She needed a diaper change and she stood there with what I would call "fear" and frowning on her face when asked about it.  The boyfriend picked her up and took her out to the car to change her and she screamed-whereas, she used to adore him and always wanted to be with him.  Her first day at the child care center, the girl there stated, "It was kinda strange when I took her to change her diaper-she kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry".  One more thing-if she gets any thing on her hands, she panics and runs to anyone to get it wiped off.  My heart just broke as I watched her and I had a bad gut feeling.  Maybe this is nothing, but would like some advice

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 01, 2004 12:00AM
With all the changes in her life, it wouldn't be at all surprising to see some instability. However, the particular manifestation does invite concern. It would make sense for her mother to have a short, private, casual chat with her, noting the upset she displays around her diaper change and asking her if anything is worrying her or scaring her about it. Also, it's fine to ask her why she was saying she's sorry. It's important not to jump to any conclusions, particularly involving involving any form of mistreatment, but on the other hand it does not make sense to ignore the change in demeanor and behavior.
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