Potty Problems our 2yr old who has SI Dysfunction and PDD

[MERD]

Our nearly two and a half year old son has a strong SI Dysfunction and PDD(mild).  He does not like the feel of a wet diaper or a soiled (BM) diaper.  For about the past three months he takes his diaper off and smears the BM wherever he happens to be.  We have been able to teach him to come and get us when his diaper is soiled or wet.  We also keep our eyes on him and try to catch him in the act of pulling his diaper off. He does not talk so we literally have to watch for particular sounds or body language.  Our biggest dillema is nap time.  He does not like to take naps.  When we put him down we are guaranteed that he will pull off his diaper and poop in his crib.  He then smears his BM to get rid of it.  I believe two things:  1.  He is doing this diliberately to get out of taking a nap and being able to take a bath.  2.  He accidentally get the mess on his skin and because of his tactile defenses, he tries to wipe it off.  I have stopped bathing him when I find the mess and instead use the shower nozzle to remove the debris.  At nap tim, I make him stay in his crib for one hour regardless of the poop.  We do not want to spank him.  We have tried talking to him and rewarding him with a bath if he does not poop during nap time. As far as trying to keep the diaper on, we have used rubberpants, onesies, and overalls.  The boy is a regular Houdini. We are at our wits end. It has gotten to the point where we know that we are afraid of nap time.  Any suggestions?????

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes. There is no point, really, in persisting with nap time. It is too problematic, and your son is too young to participate in the sort of qui-pro-quo you have tried. There are times during our children's growing up years when it is very sensible to, as they say, cut our losses, and I think you have reached one of those times. As time goes on, your son will stop these behaviors, but that will come mostly as a result of development. Rather than continue to try to make the nap time successful, you'd do better to eliminate the problem by eliminating the nap.

[amy1272hou]

My condolences on the loss of your nap-time. My son is OCD and PDD,Nos - I know how hard it can be; and those times when nap time is as much for Mom & Dad, as well as kiddo! Maybe you can do a "quiet time" with the door closed instead?
My son would also smear his BM at that age... but it only lasted for about 8 months. What really seemed to help was making him clean it up himself.
Further, after years of unsuccessful potty training, I'll let you in on the secret that really did the trick - a small toy self above the toilet within direct view while sitting. I would pick up small prizes (bubbles are a favorite!) and he would get a prize for using the potty... or just really trying! That finally worked!