I have a son who just turned 3 in Feb. We were doing very well on him using the potty and thought we were on our way. He would not use the potty at all in his school. Now he uses the potty in school most of the time but still requires a diaper and at home is flat out refusing to even go near the bathroom and fights us to even change his diaper. He even will sit there now and let his diaper over flow and does not care if he is wet. We have tried stickers and other incentives and nothing will get him near the potty . When we have tried underware he will just pee in those as well and does not care. We have even tried letting it drop for a long period of time and that has just seem to make it worse with him not wanting to even be changed. We went to on the way to neg 0.
often children are more willing to try at school because it is built in to the routine. There is a specific time when there is no choice- it's potty/diaper change time. While that may not be appropriate for an older child, it can be an effective way to get a training toddler/preschooler to accept that it is a part of the day. If he truly is showing signs of being ready to train and is willing to go at home, try to apply some of those principles at home. First start by building it into established routines- right before bath, right before nap, etc. It's easy to slip it in there. Then start to build it in to the rest of the day by going every hour or 2. Give your child a 5 minute warning and set a timer. Explain that when the bell rings it's potty time. If he resists, just say that it is time to try. You may want to place some special books or small toys in the bathroom to use only when trying. Acknowledge any compliance with the routine- don't expect him to pee everytime, but even if he sits for only 5 seconds tell him he did a great job trying. When you take him in to the bathroom, ask if his diaper is wet or dry. Make no additional praise or criticism- this is more to make him aware of the difference and to learn to articulate it.
Here's what I would do. Stop all potty training for 2 weeks. Just take a break; that way he'll forget that it's big deal and you guys can make a fresh start. Come up with a plan that you really think will work. Such as if he uses the potty he gets a piece of candy. If he doesn't, then nothing happens. Don't make a big deal of when he makes a mistake. Try and stay relaxed no matter how gross it is. Remember to him it's really not gross.
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