Potty Training

My 31/2yr old son was urinating consistently on the potty from March to May of this year and then started to hold his urine up to 8 hours and poop up to a week.  Obviously, with bouts of constipation but soft stool.  He dislikes diapers but adamantly refuses to sit on the potty/toilet.  He reports he is either too busy playing or is afraid to let "it" go to the ocean.  We talked and have tried to relieve his fears.  The question is dad wants wants to continue by being more assertive and physically forcing him to sit in toilet and revoking toys etc.  Mom (me) is looking for a  more positive approach..?.  Bribes and praise haven't worked.... He gets mbarrased by all the praise.  Could group potty traing at daycare pushed him too far...?  My concern  is holding bowel and bladder is it harmful..?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is never useful to adopt a punitive approach to toilet training. Use rewards (e.g., a modest favored treat) for successful use of the potty. For now, he may be more accepting of using a potty chair that is not attached to the toilet - some children get scared off by sitting on the toilet. You can be supportive without overdoing the praise.