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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
 | 
Potty Training
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Potty Training

by Tiera, Sep 05, 1999 12:00AM
My 31/2 year old son seems to be refusing potty training.  It was difficult to train him to urinate and we finally resorted to letting him wear "big boy" underwear and wet them.  After 3 days he was trained.  But we cannot get him to have BM's in the potty.  We can ask him if he needs to go potty (poop) and he'll tell us "no" but 2 minutes later he's pooped in his pants.  We have praised him and given him special treats when he does go and I have tried time-out, and taking away certain privileges when he doesn't. This has been going on for probably 5 months now and we are at wits end.  Nothing seems to work or motivate him.  Any suggestions?

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 06, 1999 12:00AM
Dear Tiera,

To be frank, you'd probably be best off my simply allowing development to work its own magic and not push the potty training too much.

Simply reward your son each time he does use the toilet (have a simple 'chart' on the wall, place a sticker - he can help you purchase them - on the chart each time he uses the toilet, and give him a modest reward, such as a small treat or a little party favor-type toy).

You needn't discipline him for failure to use the toilet. Remember, he's still very young; he'll be fine, just give him time. Generally, the more youngsters see their parents overly invested in their accomplishment of toilet training, the longer it will take them. Let it be his accomplishment, achieved on his own timetable.
Member Comments (6)

by Jenn, Sep 05, 1999 12:00AM
i had the same problam with my dd. She was completely trainned with going pee within three weeks. but going poop was a battle. Finally i just gave up on asking,bribing, and everything else. I think i read all the books on this. But its funny because after i gave up she just started going on her own. It took about three months but hey, it happened. All the books that i read said the same thing thou. They will go when they are ready and not before. I wouldn't recommend doing time out with this thou. If you punish him for not pooping on the pot, it might take longer for him to do it. Good luck. i know how fursturating it is.

by Kathy, Oct 23, 1999 12:00AM
Have you looked closely at other developmental milestones? This describes my battles with my son. His answer was always, "I didn't know" or "I couldn't feel it." He was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction and this was the probable cause in our case. We potty trained useing mild supposatories to develop and regulate a daily routine. We worked closely with his pediatrician and it worked. Either way this method may work for you. Talk to your doctor

by Kim Michalik, Jul 23, 2000 12:00AM
My 2 1/2 child hates to go potty! what should i do?

by maggie, Jul 26, 2000 12:00AM
Yes I think every time he poops his pants u should give a
spanking he'll  never forget. If that doesn't whenever he's have to go poop pull his pants down and make  him sit on the potty. DUH!!!!!!!

by scott set 19 2000, Sep 18, 2000 12:00AM
potty training for dummies if there is no book avaible may be ishould write one.for some strange reason we keep telling our selfs oh there not ready yet.ihave two boys both potty trained before 30 months.fist thing i learned when training my sons is that you have to be commited to a schedule take them to the wash room every hour at least .make them stay on the toilet for 5 to 8 minutes if they pee or poop before that then thats fine but you have to be consitant with your schedule.when my sons pee in the toilet i would giveem a small reward and clap my hands and tell them good boy when they pooped i would give them a bigger reward anddo the same.we are lead to belive by diaper comanys thatour children dont need to rushed into potty traing.i personally fell that we are holding our children back.by following this simple schedule i managed to potty trainmy oldest son in just 4 to 5 days.he was only 2 at the time. he is 4 now i still get him up to pee about 2 hours after he falls asleep  by doing so he never pees in his bed.my youngest son was harder to train but it just took a bit more comitment on my part.remember its your money you are spending on diapers .the average person spends 15 to 20 dollars a week thats app.$1000 a year to spend elese where
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