Potty training a resistant 3 year old

[LizandMike]

Hi, I have been trying to get my 3 year old son potty trained for about a year now.  He just turned 3 a month ago.  He has never been willing to sit on the potty.  We ALWAYS have to force him to sit on it, or remind him to.  Every time we send him to the potty he screams and cries.  One time he even threw the potty.  Some days are better than others, but most days he is kicking and screaming. At first he was resistant to wearing his underwear.  Atleast now he prefers his underwear to the diapers, but he refuses to cooperate with us when we try to get him to sit on the potty. He uses his underwaer like a diaper and then expects us to change him.  I want to get him on a potty schedule, but how can I when he kicks and screams? We have mangaed to make him go #1 twice and #2 twice since we first started (a year ago). Two of those times were by accident.  I either ran him to the potty, or he did without noticing.  Rewards after doing it didn't work or modivate him.  I have bought books and videos.  Those do not seem to work.  What should I do?  Wait a while for him to "want" to go on the potty or is their a method I can use?  Please Help!  Thank you.  -Liz

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There really is no suitable substitute to waiting until the child displays interest in toilet training. It takes some children a while, but eventually it happens. There are many children who are your son's age who are not yet trained - it's OK. You actually started him off somewhat early, so while you've been at it a while it's not really an actual reflection of any serious abnormality on his part. Be patient and supportive.

[LizandMike]

  My son has finally started going on the potty.  He has even gone a couple times all by himself.  I think we just needed to back off and be more positive about it. I had to pull him out of school because he was not trained yet.  I also explained to him that he needs to go on the potty before he can go back to school.  I think that is what is modivating him.  He asked me today if he can go back to school since he has gone on the potty.  lol  Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Gald to hear he's on his way to mastering this. Your approach is helping him.

[LizandMike]

   Hi, my son seemed to be on his way to being potty trained but he has regressed for the second time. He seems really emotional about it and it seems like he just wants nothing to do with it again.  Every day is different.  He is 3 years 4 months old now and I am getting really worried about school.  I want him in preschool but he is not trained yet.  Will he fall behind if he is unable to attend preschool?  My mother tells me I can teach him enough before kindergarten but I am still worried.  I try to teach him things but I would feel better if he was learning at preschool.  Sometimes I am in tears about it and I feel like a bad mother because of it.  Any more suggestions?  Will he eventually catch up with the other kids who have been in day care their whole lives?

[distressedintexas]

I have been potty training my daughter for about a year and a half she does really well with going when she has to do #2 but she doesn't do at all well with #1 does anyone have any suggestions?

[khart123]

LizandMike I have had the same problem with my child since he was 3.  I started a thread below about potty training issues trust me when I say there are a lot of people with the same problem.  Because of the length of what I have posted as the way we got our child to have success, I will not repost it here but please take a look at that subject line.  I am not a doctor but I feel that I am one of the few that has had success recently and wanted to share what worked for me...Thanks Khart123

[irishtwinsmama]

A related discussion, potty training was started.

[bsb30]

A related discussion, resistant potty training was started.