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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
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Potty training frustration
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Potty training frustration

by JSass, Jul 24, 2007 12:00AM
We have been trying to potty train our 3.5 yr old girl for the last 6 months. We have had a breakthrough in the last month were she will pee in the potty but will not poop. She holds it for days and then goes during nap or hiding somewere. We have been using the Feel and Learn Pullups. The thing is she will not tell us when she has to go pee. I just have to put her on the toilet every hour. When we are out she can hold it for along time and will go on the potty and stay dry most of the time unless a lot of time goes by.
The thing is at home even though i put her on the toilet every hour she still wets her pull up inbetween potty trips but will still go in the potty at times. She seems so go very often. Im not sure if she is not empting her entire bladder all the time or the pullups are just to convenient to go in. I have tried rewards, charts, stickers even the plastic covered cotton training pants and she goes and sits in them without saying a word this is why we went to the pullups because the laundry was crazy using them.
Any suggestions? How should i deal with it when she goes in her pullup. The we must go in the potty and tell daddy and mommy speech is getting old to her.

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jul 25, 2007 12:00AM
Ypur daughter is doing fine. Her behavior indicates that she is on the threshhold of accomplishing this developmental milestone. Maintain a schedule of having her sit on the potty, and of course reward her each time she is successful using the potty. Try to keep the situation unpressured and relaxed. If you convey anxiety or undue pressure, it will only serve to cause your daughter to be anxious as well. There are many children who are not yet toilet trained at her age, so don't feel like she is way outside the norm. Keep the chart simple - i.e., a star each time she uses the potty, and then give her an immediate reward when she earns a star. Make judicious use of the various children's books about potty training; some of the videos are helpful also.
Member Comments (2)

by FrustratedMom77, Jul 24, 2007 12:00AM
I shared your frustration for a long time also, I just got my son who will be 4 in December potty trained. I tried all of the above you tried and maybe this won't work for every kid but it did for mine. One weekend I decided we were not going to go anywhere, I left him completely naked while he did his usual thing around the house, and after the first accident in the floor, he didn't do it again, from then on he would say he had to go to the potty. I had to put pull ups on at night and after about 3 weeks of that now he doesn't need them at night anymore. Hope this helps. I know I was willing to try anything! Good Luck!
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