Private parts

[Yvettesmom]

Hi, my 6-year-old daughter talks very openly about her private parts.  My babysitter called me and was concerned because she told her that her brother who is 4 has urinated on her vagina.  I asked them about it and they said it never happened she was just joking.  Then today one of the mothers in our neighborhood told me that my daughter is asking the boys if they want to see her vagina.  Is this a normal thing or should I be worried.  I have talked with her before and told her that private parts are to be kept private and that we don't talk about them.  Am I too strict about it and making her want to talk about it more openly?  Or should I be worried that something happened to her?  I asked her if anyone has ever done anything to her private parts and she says no.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your daughter's unguarded manner of speaking about her genitals is not unusual for the age. Children do not have the inhibitions that constrain older people in this regard. However, she is getting beyond the point when innocent curiosity sometimes results in mutual showing or touching of body parts. You are correct in setting clear limits about this. She should not be asking boys to look at her vagina. It is possible that she is experiencing something (e.g., talking with another child) that might be contributing to this. Speaking with her about this would be prudent.