Problem Child & Summer Camp

Have a 8 year old boy who is ADHD and on focalin daily to manage his impulse problem. Has problems hitting and attacking other smaller children. He is very bright. Straight A's in school. Has problems with arguing with parents, teachers, umpires. He is a very strong willed child and wants to be in charge of everything. Taking his meds everyday is huge issue. Currently will not swallow the pill. We are now having to mix the medicine in a small teaspoon of chocolate pudding and allow him to drink a coke to wash it down. Can't allow medicine to be seen by child or he will refuse to take it, so we have to mix it up. Not really easy to do without spilling it. Also has issues with bed-wetting. Normally wets bed about once a week, but can go a couple of weeks without problem. When he wets its really, really wet. We have just ordered the bed-wetting alarm to try to help the situation. He also has trouble with fecal hording. Normally about once a week he poops his pants at school. Has pooped his bathing suit at other children's birthday parties causing whole pool, water slide to be shut down. Have recently started making him clean his underwear himself. But I really don't see any embarrassment from him when it happens. It's just an accident. So it happens a lot when other activities are more interesting and he doesn't want to break to go to the bathroom. So his mother wants him to go to camp this summer. A two week boys camp, with twelve boys per cabin. I think this could be a huge problem. Guess, I still remember that poor little boy that we made fun of so horridly when I was 9, that pooped his pants. I still remember his name, and my other friends have the same memory. It was horrible for him, and I am sure he still lives with that pain today in some way. I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. My wife even refuses to discuss this situation with the camp. My wife thinks she can talk to him, and all these problems will just go away. Unfortunately, I have seen this happen time and again and it always comes back, always. Any suggestions

[RockRose]

Hmm.  Is this a standard run of the mill  camp for mainstream boys?  

My guess is with his behavioral issues he wouldn't make it very long before he was sent home in that case.  

Does he want to go?  

[ironartist]

Standanard run of the mill boys camp. Gone two weeks. He wants to go. His mom wants him to go.

[RockRose]

I wonder,  Ironartist,  that this might be a really good experience for him since he wants to go.

None of his behaviors seem to be outside of his control.  It seems that if he WANTS to fit in and behave,  he can.  

You sound like a really caring,  really sweet stepdad.  You are trying really hard.

I think if he wants to do this,  he can do this.  I know it will be hard for you to let him go.