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Problems Potty Training my 4 year old daughter
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Problems Potty Training my 4 year old daughter

I am about to lose it here with potty training.  My daughter turned 4 a few weeks ago and flat out refuses to poop in the potty.  She has never done it - always does it in her pants.  She has been peeing in it since May of this year with no problems.  She wets the bed sometimes but its far and few between.  When I start talking to her about going poop in the potty, her excuse is Im different or I forgot.  She has suffered with chronic constipation since 18 months and has just recently been put on Miralax to help.  It is helping, things are starting to get messy now.  lol
anyone else have problems potty training girls>Ive tried everything imaginable, prizes, spankings, taking away things, you name it, Ive done it.  Im really upset by this as it has cost her preschool - she is no longer allowed to return after Christmas break.
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I have a almost 4 year old daughter who was at 2 1/2 potty trained (except for night time) she went thru a 4 day hospital visit & was on iv for the entire 4 days.  I was told I would have a bit of a set back w/ her potty training, but this is really getting out of hand.  I have a 2 year old son who  is showing interest, but nothing from her.  I've tried everything from stickers to presents to taking things away & nothing seems to help.  
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I have found nothing to help here either.  Just today I caught her getting ready to go so I told her to use the potty. she got on the potty to poop, and then I walked out and came back and found her sitting in the floor going instead.
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wow, no one has any advice .. :(
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I have two girls and my first was difficult to train.  She almost lost her spot in preschool, but thankfully, it worked out.  Most all of potty training is about control.  Does she have bowel movements at "regular times"?  My daughter would refuse to sit on the potty in the beginning and I had to catcher her starting to go, run to the potty and put her on.  Then we had a HUGE celebration and she began doing it on her own.  Catching her was the hard part.  She was over 3 1/2 before she was potty trained, but after the first time she went on the pot, she has never had an accident since, and she is now 5.  I think kids do it when they are ready.  If she can sense your tension about it, I think it may become a power struggle.  Have you talked to her doctor about the situation?  That might be another resource for you.  Good Luck!
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The only other trick I would recommend with supervision....and I bet this works, because it did with my son. I knew he knew going poop in his pants was not right. It was more about  a power struggle than it was potty training. So I made him clean himself up. Of course, with supervision, but after that....never crapped his pants again!!
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Well, I'll offer my advice only because i have FOUR kids and it has worked with the first three.  My youngest is almost two and i'll be going through this again soon.  First of all they have to be physically able to controll it, and for boys that happens  around age two.  For girls it can happen sooner.  So, my firstborn son turned two in november and we were going to be traveling for a couple weeks at Christmas, so i decided to wait until we got home and he felt safe/secure/settled.  I had heard that you have to cancel all outings, and just plan to stay home in new underoos for at least a week.  They run around in their skivies and eat salty foods & drink lots of water so they have to pee often -- and they learn to make it to the potty in time to get pants down.  So, i stayed home where they felt comfortable, no complications (like where the heck is the nearest bathroom when you're in the grocery store or the bank??!) and this worked for me with my first three!  I think some one said it before -- it sounds like a conrol issue when the child is well over two yrs and refuses to use the potty.  And I also made my second child help me clean up his mess when he deliberately pooped on the floor!  He also never did that again!
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I can remember having this problem with my daughter up to the age of 4 1/2.  I was anxious about it when she went to pre-school and I remember my doctor told me to send her in a nappy and not tell them because she thought that my daughter would control her bowels at preschool and not poo in her nappies while she was there.  She was right - for two terms she never did.  Admittedly it seemed to be at a point when i became less anxious about it that i was able to talk to my daughter about why she refused to go on the toilet although i had tried to encourage her countless times before.  She had got it into her head that to poo on the toilet was going to be painfull and that in her nappy (diaper) it was not.  When I explained to her it would be no different to go on the toilet (pain wise) she seemed to listen and nervously gave it a try.  My doctor said it would pass eventually and that it was a common problem.  She was right - don't be too despondent. My daughter is 16 now - well past potty training but now we need to overcome her fear of vaccinations!!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow, not fun I know. I don't have girls, but my son was slow to learn to use the big persons pot. All I can say is truly when she is ready she'll do it. Potty training is somthing you can't force on to your children. All you can really do is encourage, and praise her when she does go in the toliet.
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Sorry to hear about your problem, but I know what you are going through.  My son was not potty trained until he was 5 years old.  He also missed his preK and I did not put him in daycare because after a certain age, teachers did not want to change a child.  My son's problem was that he does have a learning disability.  I did however begin to leave him dirty even after he pointed out to me that he made a mess in his pullup.  He began to cry and I told him I would change him if he promised to let me know he needed to go the next time.  Of course he would still do it but he then began to take his pullup off and he made a mess cleaning himself.  As the months passed, he began to sit on the toilet and clean himself.  He is now by far the cleanest of my kids...no skid marks...lol!  Just be patient...and try not to get too upset.  They really are trying.

Good luck!
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I have 3 girls 6, 23 months, and 9 months.  We are off to a great start with the older two.  My oldest was potty traied through the night at 14 months.  My 23 month old is almost potty trained.  The pooping is the hardest for children to get onto.  I was given advise from a friend and she told me to purchase a book called "everyone poops."  She states that she had to use this on 2 of her children.  Well by the time I needed it my oldest was trained.  I guess this book talks about how natural it is for eveyone to poop and has great illustartions including animals.  She showed me the book and is is very cute.  You may want to try this to see if it helps with her using the potty to poop.
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I am currently having the same problem as you are. Its a nightmare and like you we have tried EVERYTHING. She even went through several medical tests that weren't pleasant. We are at the point now where she will lose her spot in preschool. We have no idea what to do and have found no advice that works anywhere. I will let you know if we find something that works but until then I just wanted you to know youre not alone out there.        
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