Problems at daycare with my 3 year old son

[tba]

My son turned three in April. He has been going to a daycare since he was one. This year we decided to switch to a private school where he will continue until he graduates high school. He is in the pre-k 3 years old class. He is going on his third week. It is a lot more structured than the previous school. The problem we are having with him is he is not participating in any of the activities of the class.  His teacher is telling us that he does not want to participate in any activities and when he does finally join the group he tends to be disruptive by moving around or rolling on the floor. She says all he want to do is play. And he tells her "no" a lot.  We try and talk to him about his behavior when is gets home but it is like talking to a wall. We do timeout, take toys away, no tv, etc.. We are at a loss on what to do about his behavior in school.  We thought it might just be the change in schools but it has been three weeks now.. shouldn't he be adjusting by now? The other problem he is having at school is he has started taking his clothes off. He is potty trained and does very well with using the potty but at random times during class he will just pull his clothes off. My husband and I are just shocked about this. He is a very bright three year old. Plays well with his friends. Any words of advice?

[IndianaMom]

The teacher should go stuff herself? Thats pretty rude.
Maybe you should step into the teachers shoes for awhile.
I am a teacher of 3 year olds. And i tell you i have seen it all.
But the lack of support of parents is the worst.

[Nanaonline]

Uh....Just turned 3 in April?  OMG, you shouldn't be shocked at anything he's doing.  The change in school alone is enough to cause problems although usually they are temporary.  Never lose track of the fact this is a CHILD, just coming out of the toddler stage.  Frankly, I'd tell the teacher to stuff it and just do her job.  As far as the suggestion to work on his manners, it couldn't hurt but don't make a big deal of this.  Let him be a kid.  The stripping of clothes...well...this is just a thought, why don't you ask him if his clothes are bothering him?  Maybe the ones he has on are uncomfortable or he just doesn't like them.  Letting him choose his clothes for school, unless he has a uniform, may help.  Give him a little control but with your guidance.  I hope this helps.  I've raised two and have a 4 yr. old grandchild so there's a little experience behind my words.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

When children are a bit older (e.g., five and up), it can make a difference if you participate in behavior management that has to do with school. With children as young as your son, all you can reasonably do is suport the expectations of the pre-school. His behavior is really not unusual for his age. Of course all he wants to do is play. That's what three-year-olds do. Perhaps some of the problem is that your son is really not at a point where he can acclimate to the expectations of the program he is in. Too often these days children are expected to 'learn' in a formal way at way too young an age. Perhaps the problem isn't so much with your son as with the mismatch between him and the program.

[tba]

Thanks for your advice. He is in school from 8-3pm and I am with him in the afternoons. I will try the self-control thing and see how that works.  We are going to meet with his teacher today and discuss some options to work on his behavior.  As for taking off the clothes.... we are at a loss on that one.  We talk to him about it all the time.  It is strange.. I will walk back into the room and he will be sitting without clothes.  It happens a couple of time a week.  I just hope this is an adjustment phase he is going through and it will end soon.  He was not like this at his last school.

[itsme25]

Is he there all day or do you have time with him at home during the day? I think it would help if you did some self-control training with him at home? Make a game out of sitting on a chair with folded hands. See how long he can do it. Reward him for progress. Reading to him will help his self-control too.

As far as the clothes thing goes...Hmmmm I have girls, they have never done that. Does he have a dad there that can talk to him about being appropriate and modest. Maybe dad telling him what "Big boys do" will help.

[aiden'smom]

My son is going through that same thing right now it's been 4 weeks since moving him to a new day care and he is acting out and hitting the children in his class. The teacher says he wont listen and he is not going to the potty like he used to. he is completly potty trained and goes at home perfectly. I am embarassed when I pick him up everyday to know that he was very bad in school. I dont know what else to do because he doesnt act like this at home