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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Re: hitting touching others
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Re: hitting touching others
by Rae__0__0, Jan 01, 1995 12:00AM
Posted By Rae on March 25, 1999 at 20:08:24:
In Reply to: Re: hitting touching others posted by HVM Ph.D. - KDK on March 22, 1999 at 06:44:52:
While time out can be a quick fix to a problem in the classroom, it is really not effective at getting to the root of the problem. You need to find out WHY this child is hitting, what are the precursors to hitting. Is he hitting because he can't verbalize his feelings, because he's often hit, etc. This child obviously does not have the skills necessary to handle himself in specific situations and time out really isn't going to teach him anything. The reward/punishment system with the stickers is not going to be effective at helping him learn self-control. This kind of systems makes YOU resopnsible for his behavior and not himself. There are several steps to having self control. 1. establishing body boudaries
2. managing impulses
3. finding alternative outlets for self expression
4. channeling emotions into a positive outcome
You need to see where the breakdown is in this child and help the child deal with whatever issues he's dealing with. For example, if he can not manage impulses, you need to provide the child with activities that will help him learn this skills; such as stop and go games.
This is a process that takes some time. The time out gets you quick fix results. But giving the kid the skills necessary to handle himself in this situation is going to benefit both of you more in the long run. What you might want to try is observing the child. Intervene before he hits and give him the necessary words he needs to resolve the situation. If he does hit, firmly state that hitting is never allowed in the classroom. Comfort the victim FIRST. Then ask the child why he hit or say, I see you were very angry at so and so. You are NOT allowed to hit, tell so and so you are angry for knocking down your block building or whatever the reason is. Help the children involve use the right words to settle the situation. Over time,you will help his brain make a new connection to using words rather than his hands to solve a problem. We don't need to fix kids through punishment. Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn is the single best most excellent discipline resource to use with children. I strongly suggest reading it. It's wonderful.. Remember that when children to misbehave we as educators have a choice, we can punish the child, or teach the child more appropriate behaviors.
Rae - if you need more info, please post and I will gladly email you some great info.
I have a boy who will be 5 soon in my preschool. He is constantly
touching or hitting other children. What can I do? I have tried time
out after several reminders have been given about his needing to keep hands to self.
This is very time consuming and I am not sure it is helping much.
Dear Ms. Anderson,
You are on the right track. As you've undoubtedly already done, be sure to state clearly to the whole group your 'hands off' policy - i.e., that children should not be touching other children, and that hitting (and any other type of unsafe behavior - including hurtful comments)is not allowed. Tell the child that any instance of hitting will be followed by an immediate time out (no warnings or reminders). If the child does hit, place him/her immediately in time out for a duration of five minutes. Use a portable timer to time the five minutes. When the time out is over, briefly ask the child: "What got you in time out?" When the child tells you that hitting someone 'got him in time out', underscore that hitting is against thr rules; "No hitting". Then, have him/her play alone for ten minutes or so, before having the child rejoin other children.
In addition, a behavioral contingency system might be useful. Divide the school day into time segments (30 min. blocks, e.g.). Using a chart, place a sticker on each block corresponding to time periods when the child has adhered to the 'hands off' policy. Provide some modest reward for each sticker the child earns.
As a pre-school teacher, you know that the pre-school years are a time of many types of learning. One of the tasks of this age is to learn impulse control, and the type of plan outlined above (some of which you are already doing) will help your student learn to control his impulse to touch/hit other children.
*Keyword: Pre-school, impulse control, hitting, time out
In Reply to: Re: hitting touching others posted by HVM Ph.D. - KDK on March 22, 1999 at 06:44:52:
While time out can be a quick fix to a problem in the classroom, it is really not effective at getting to the root of the problem. You need to find out WHY this child is hitting, what are the precursors to hitting. Is he hitting because he can't verbalize his feelings, because he's often hit, etc. This child obviously does not have the skills necessary to handle himself in specific situations and time out really isn't going to teach him anything. The reward/punishment system with the stickers is not going to be effective at helping him learn self-control. This kind of systems makes YOU resopnsible for his behavior and not himself. There are several steps to having self control. 1. establishing body boudaries
2. managing impulses
3. finding alternative outlets for self expression
4. channeling emotions into a positive outcome
You need to see where the breakdown is in this child and help the child deal with whatever issues he's dealing with. For example, if he can not manage impulses, you need to provide the child with activities that will help him learn this skills; such as stop and go games.
This is a process that takes some time. The time out gets you quick fix results. But giving the kid the skills necessary to handle himself in this situation is going to benefit both of you more in the long run. What you might want to try is observing the child. Intervene before he hits and give him the necessary words he needs to resolve the situation. If he does hit, firmly state that hitting is never allowed in the classroom. Comfort the victim FIRST. Then ask the child why he hit or say, I see you were very angry at so and so. You are NOT allowed to hit, tell so and so you are angry for knocking down your block building or whatever the reason is. Help the children involve use the right words to settle the situation. Over time,you will help his brain make a new connection to using words rather than his hands to solve a problem. We don't need to fix kids through punishment. Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn is the single best most excellent discipline resource to use with children. I strongly suggest reading it. It's wonderful.. Remember that when children to misbehave we as educators have a choice, we can punish the child, or teach the child more appropriate behaviors.
Rae - if you need more info, please post and I will gladly email you some great info.
I have a boy who will be 5 soon in my preschool. He is constantly
touching or hitting other children. What can I do? I have tried time
out after several reminders have been given about his needing to keep hands to self.
This is very time consuming and I am not sure it is helping much.
Dear Ms. Anderson,
You are on the right track. As you've undoubtedly already done, be sure to state clearly to the whole group your 'hands off' policy - i.e., that children should not be touching other children, and that hitting (and any other type of unsafe behavior - including hurtful comments)is not allowed. Tell the child that any instance of hitting will be followed by an immediate time out (no warnings or reminders). If the child does hit, place him/her immediately in time out for a duration of five minutes. Use a portable timer to time the five minutes. When the time out is over, briefly ask the child: "What got you in time out?" When the child tells you that hitting someone 'got him in time out', underscore that hitting is against thr rules; "No hitting". Then, have him/her play alone for ten minutes or so, before having the child rejoin other children.
In addition, a behavioral contingency system might be useful. Divide the school day into time segments (30 min. blocks, e.g.). Using a chart, place a sticker on each block corresponding to time periods when the child has adhered to the 'hands off' policy. Provide some modest reward for each sticker the child earns.
As a pre-school teacher, you know that the pre-school years are a time of many types of learning. One of the tasks of this age is to learn impulse control, and the type of plan outlined above (some of which you are already doing) will help your student learn to control his impulse to touch/hit other children.
*Keyword: Pre-school, impulse control, hitting, time out
