Resistance of the child to speak in school & strangers

My daughter 3 and half years old is attending school for the last 9 months. She refuses to talk, sing, dance in the school. She is a normal child at home and also speaks to most of the frequent visiting relatives. She also does not speak to strangers.

[SL345]

any kids who are socially anxious exhibit these behaviors. It may be partly developmental, in that it may get getter as she gets older. In the mean time, work with her on it. Give her a lot of empathy - "sometimes, it's hard to meet new people or to say hi to people you don't know very well." May be she could smile or wave hello. Try not to pressure her, but instead encourage her. Help her find ways to feel more secure and confident. Set up one-on-one playdates, some with younger children where she can feel more in charge. Keep talking to her and try to draw her out on the difference between talking at home and refusing to talk in school. Ask her how she feel. As she feels more and more confident, she will most likely talk and participate more.

[jdtm]

Children who are unable to "speak" in social situations but show no inhibitions in a safe environment as the home are usually diagnosed with Selective Mutism.  I suspect strongly this is the issue with your daughter.  The best internet site on this topic is "selectivemutism.org" and I would suggest that you peruse this site - paying special attention to the FAQ's as a start.  By the way, three is an excellent age to have this disorder diagnosed as the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  The longer the child is "mute" in perceived "unsafe" environments, the more ingrained this behaviour can become.  It is especially difficult to treat during the adolescent years.  By the way, she not "refusing" to talk, sing or dance at school; her anxiety is so high that she is "unable" to do these things and being mute and perhaps frozen in appearance is how she is coping with this severe stress (I bet she also is unable to eat or use the washroom at school).  I have had a lot of experience with this disorder - please let me know if I can help.