Restless Sleeper

My daughter is 1 year old and has never been a good sleeper. As a new baby she took many short naps and was awake for most of the night. The only way she would sleep was if she was held, which mean't myself or my husband taking turns to hold her as she slept. As she got older she started sleeping acouple of hours a night. We persevered with a bedtime routine for months and eventually got her going to sleep in her cot for the first part of the night, then lying beside either her dad or myself for the next part. This is still pretty much the routine, she goes to sleep around 7pm while either drinking her milk or lying in her cot with me sitting beside the cot. However, she wakes up approximately 10 times a night and has to be settled. My husband or I can settle her the first part of the night, then one of us has to lie beside her, but she still wakes and needs comforted. We are both exhausted. Why isn't she sleeping through the night? She is walking and is active during the day. She is energetic and hates sleeping- she struggles at nap time and screams and cries when she is tired.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Without over-simplifying things, she's doing what you have taught her. You can see the routine you have developed. She's just sticking to the routine. There's no painless way to solve this. You've got to change your behavior if this situation is going to improve.

[Tired_Mummy]

What do you suggest? I am open to suggestions which will help to modify this pattern.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The goal is for your daughter to fall asleep on her own and when she wakes up at night to fall back to sleep on her own. You have to stop lying down with her or in any other way teaching her that she needs you in order to fall asleep. She will not like the change at first, but it's important that you be peristent. She will change to the degree that you can change.