SON STILL WONT OPEN CHRISTMAS PRESENTS TO PLAY WITH

[kat2000ae]

My 5yr. old still has not played with any of his toys from Christmas. He opened them but they are all in his room unopened from the manufacturing boxes. He is smart and his verbal skill seems age appropriate however he hits me constantly and his lil sister. He threatens to stab us with knifes and scissors often. I dont know where he is getting this from.  Can you give any suggestions?

[benjimom]

I would be concerned too about the threats. I would call the pediatrician and ask him/her what they think.  Is this behavior also at school as well.

[supermomma531]

I don't think that you should be concerned with the gifts at all, he'll open them when he is ready. The real concern here are the threats and the physical abuse to you and your other children. How long has this been going on for? Is he monitored as to what is exposed to him via media stuff? How is he at school? Have there been any recent changes in his life that would make him act out to this degree? This is your more serious concern and if it continues, you need to get him some professional help through the family doctor or pediatrician. How do you manage his behavior whether it is good or bad? Do you praise him for the good and correct him on his bad behavior? Has he ever physically hurt anyone while threatening to hurt? Does he have a structured routine? Is he active enough? Does he play in any sports? How are his friends that he may play with? Do any of his friends act this way? Could he be role playing if he has seen this kind of behavior either inside or outside of the house?

I'm sorry for all of the questions but you need to get down to the bottom of things with your son in order to help him correct his behavior. Have you sat down and had a in depth discussion with him? Maybe he needs extra attention and is trying to get it through being misbehaved. If you keep a journal as to when these episodes happen, keep track of what might set him off such as t.v., other people, certain situations, etc. Is he stimulated enough to keep him busy? Kids tend to act out to get the attention that they want. So if you can keep him busy at home as well as outside of the house, then things might pan out. Get him to help you with the house chores. I'm sure that he can probably do some dishes or sweeping or vacuuming with your supervision and or help. Maybe he is bored and needs to try new things. Maybe he feels left out of certain situations. Every family is different but maybe he needs more highly structured activities. Also giving him choices may make feel like he has some sort of control. Only limit him to two things at one time. Either he colors or he paints or he can put a puzzle together or he can play with his toys. And so on and so fourth. Make him your little helper at home and making chores fun can help him to become calmer. Give him lots of outside time to play at a park or kick around a ball. Kids need to be active. Maybe plan once a week to do something special with him if he has good behavior. A way to keep track of his behavior is to use a star chart with him. For everything he does good or right, he gets a star. As time goes on, challenge him to do more right for one star. Maybe at the end of the week, he can have a special prize such as a movie night or an outing with you or dad or a sleep over at an aunts or grandma's house or something of this sort. This will take time to change his behavior but continued persistence on your part is what is needed. Also talk to him everyday about his behavior and what is expected of him. Always get down to his level when speaking to him, this way he doesn't feel like you're hovering over him when being spoken to. It'll make him much more receptive to you and your instructions. Try to always be calm when speaking and don't be afraid of using time outs for you and him. If you feel like you are losing your cool, send him to his room or another spot for 5 minutes and explain to him that you both need a time out so that everyone can calm down. Using a breathing method may work for him as well. Teach him how to breath when he feels like he is going to be angry or do something bad, teach him how to use his words effectively. Teach him the appropriate words and sentence structures to use as well. You could also use pictures of smiley faces of different expressions to help him tell you or the other adults around him how he feels. Take some paper plates and draw a happy face, a sad face and a okay in between face and post them somewhere in your house to help him express himself. Take a clothes pin that he can move from one plate to the next when needed. Always praise him for using his appropriate words. This stuff will work with just about any child. I hope this helps you out greatly. Everyone involved in the raising of these children, needs to be on the same page, so that the child or children don't get mixed messages. I'm sure that you are a awesome mother to your children and it never hurts to ask for advice. We all need help or to just be able to talk with one another at one point in time or another. Good luck. Let me know if this helps you out.

[margypops]

Perhaps he has some jealousy issues about his sister, did they get an equal amount of Christmas gifts? could he be feeling left out at all, sometimes children do , when aniother sibling comes along they fee. How about you and Dad go and check his gifts out with him , let him have them in the living room whilst he looks and plays with them, where are the gifts your daughter got are they also put away in her room or in the living room.? Treat them equally he will feel as important that way ,walk in his shoes ,Good Luck