Self biting and Tantrums

[newtels]

Ethan is 27months and has always been a very intense child. At about 1 year he started his temper tantrums. In these he would bang his head on the floor, against the wall, into a table. Over and over again. It has gotten progressively worse.  These fits come and go and some are much worse than others.

I started off by ignorng the behavior, because it seemed to me that he was doing it for a reaction. Well about four months ago, I decided to look up more info on it and "they" suggested that I stop him from hitting his head and hold him, tell him I love him and I won't let him hurt himself. So that's what I've been doing.

But it hasn't gotten better. These instances happen every couple of weeks. It is not an everyday thing when he actually hurts himself bad enough to show bruises, marks. He, just today, bit himself 4 times on the leg and twice on the hand, there are marks but I did not see it happen. Two weeks ago he scratched his face down both sides, again marks but no witness. A month or so ago he slammed his head onto the coffee table so hard it left a goose egg and terrible bruise, this time it was right in front of me. He also pretend bites or bites himself whenever he is frustrated or does not get what he wants.

HE has a great vocabulary and speaks in sentences.  He is 27 months old.  I really need some advice on discipline.  I usually take him to his room and occasionally spank him when the offense is great.  If anything the discipline is usually more strict than lax.  

Any advice?

[stephandal1020]

Your child's story sounds like you were writing about my daughter I am taking her to a phychologist on Nov. 13 because I dont think this is something she will get over on her own. I posted the question titled My 2 year old is mean and out of control. I just wanted you to know your not alone in what you are dealing with on a daily basis.
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[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

In general, the rule of thumb in managing tantrum behavior is to ignore the behavior when the tantrum is non-destructive in nature, and to intervene by holding the child only when the tantrum is destructive (i.e., involves harm to the child, others or property). Your situation obviously falls into the latter category. Such episodes occur because young children become overwhelmed by anger engendered by frustration, and they have not yet developed the capacity to manage such intense affect. This will improve over time, as development proceeds. In the meantime, setting sound limits and not being swayed by the tantrum behavior are important steps.