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Everyone is an approximation on the mean - we're all different and all brushed with different abilities and challenges. If you have a good strong social and family network, and you're the only one who thinks your son has a disability, consider that he probably doesn't.
I agree with you- it sounds like it may be a sensory processing disorder. it would certainly explain his behaviors in loud or crowded situations. while labels aren't great at this age, this is the perfect time to get him some OT. it can work wonders for children with sensory processing problems.
I was interested in your statement that "everyone" tries to tell you this is caused by his new baby sister. Do you have extended family - aunts and uncles and inlaws and friends - who all seem to think he's normal? If they all honestly believe he's normal, he probably is.
Everyone is an approximation on the mean - we're all different and all brushed with different abilities and challenges. If you have a good strong social and family network, and you're the only one who thinks your son has a disability, consider that he probably doesn't.