Separation anxiety and general anxiety 8 year old

[greenjean]

My 8 year old daughter has always hated to be separated from her parents.  She had a rough first 2 weeks in the first grade, but was fine after that (now in 2nd grade).  She was recently home ill for a week and upon return to school was very depressed and crying everying morning and during the day.  She wouldn't play with friends after school (not normal) and lost weight(would hardly eat)over her worries about school. When I would ask her what was worrying her about school her reply was that everything about school was worrying her.  Well, that lasted for 7 days and now she's back to normal.  Her teacher is concerned that she will have a very hard time going into the third grade since she has been in the same class for 2 years (1st and 2nd split class).  She hates getting invited to sleep overs and birthday parties, because she is afraid to be without her parents.  This is effecting her self esteem, she feels different from the rest of the kids who love to go to birthday parties and sleepovers. She would love to be able to go, but cannot get past the fear. I hate to see her left out of these events, but I do not want to push her into going.  How do I get her past this?  Will it get worse or fade with time?  I want her to be able to take risks and enjoy life, but I fear that her anxieties will interfere.  I was a very anxious child and suffered from low self esteem because of my worries.  I want it to be different for her...I want her to learn how to cope with these anxious feelings. I have an appointment with a therapist, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea, I don't want her to feel like there is something wrong with her.  I've talked with her about seeing someone and she seems fine with it.  Any suggestions?

P.S.  Our home life is very happy and stable.  I am a stay at home mom.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You've already done the sensible thing - i.e., you'va arranged an appointment for her. To some extent, it is likely she will continue to have some reticence due to her separation anxiety disorder. Such conditions are examples of biologically-based emotional disorders. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so to speak. But the condition can be managed perfectly well, and the therapist can help your daughter with some coping skills and can help guide you about how to approach things from the parental point of view. Right now I wouldn't worry too much, if at all, about third grade. Just focus on the immediate future and keep supporting your daughter. It sounds like your instincts are sound.

[pillow]

I know how you feel my son was the same way . He cryed every year till like 3rd grade at the begining of school till he settle in and felt comfortable in the class. I was a stay at home mom also and i think sometimes that makes it worse since he was used to only me forever. It hurt me so bad to leave him at school when he was crying. He acted like he was never going to see me again.He to this day hates sleep overs , he will make up excuse because he has axiety. I feel for him now that he is 12 but he's got better at least about school.He is on medicine for his axiety it seems to help. He is shy in front of others and hard to mingle to make friends but once he warms up he is ok. Now this kid is totally different at home when i am around then he is brave lol . Everyone says i did it to him from when he was a baby not ever leaving him with a babysitter or letting him on the floor to play with other kids afraid my baby would get hurt, well he was my first i was very protective .I know how you feel the only thing i can say is hang in there she will see that right after school you will be there. Sounds like she is like my son and they hate change. But since my son is on medicine he is getting better