Seperation Anxiety

[kevin]

I have an exceptionally bright five year old son who recently began attending kindergarten half days.  He is an only child.  Other than attending certain educational play groups (music, reading, etc.) he has never been away from either my wife or myself.  The anticipation of going to school every noon has him crying until he vomits repeatedly every day. If we manage to get him out of the house without vomiting he does so within seconds of being dropped off at school. After the vomiting and crying stop (usually about 5 minutes) it appears, and teachers reports confirm, that he is fine.  He has cried or become morose only a couple of times (in one month of school) for brief periods during the middle of classes.

We have some evidence to suggest that he is academically advanced by 1-3 years in certain areas.  We have been told that he is one of the most polite children in the class.  He follows instructions perfectly (perhaps to perfectly?)and is kind to the other children to a fault.  He socializes both with individuals and groups well.  He has told us that he does not want to go to school and that he would rather be with "mommy" (naturally), repeatedly.  Also the other children in his class not following instructions is unsettling to him but not to the point of upset.

We assume that this is some type of seperation anxiety.  More to the point, if you concurr, what is the best way to get him over this fear?  Can you suggest different approaches ?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Kevin,

You are doing the very thing that will help your son. That is, you are sending him to school each day, in spite of his upset state, and he appears to be doing very well. Over time the level of distress will wane and you will see a smoother acclimation to the separation. Be sure you don't keep him from school - any indication that you are gratifying his desire to remain at home will only exacerbate the problem.

[Brenda [e-mail]]

Kevin,
       I am having the same problem with my 5 year old daughter. I sent her to preschool last year and she was fine the first 4 monthes then she got very sick and we found out she had asthma so sick to the point I had to take her out of school. When she became well enough to go back she was terrified and would cry to the extreme point no one could do anything for her.  Now she is in kindergarten this year and was looking forward to going to school and suddenly she is into the second week and is crying and begging me not to send her . she starts crying uncontrollable just to even talk about school. she says she misses me and can't stand being without me . She is the baby of 4 so I know she is really attached.  The doctor told me she has seperation anxiety this was told to me last year and I thought I had gotten her over it since she was so excited about going to kindergarten. I have tried bribing her and talking to her but nothing seems to be working, She has cried on the bus and at school , it is really starting to get to me now. I hope things have gotten better for your son now , Do you have any suggestions for me? or What has worked for you guys?  
( anyone with suggestions ?)                                 mom in desperate need of help