Seperation anxiety for my 3yr old

I hope someone can help me. I have a 3yr old who has always been around her 5yr old brother. He started kindy a few weeks ago. I had to change her daycare which she was doing well at by herself due to issues with the sitter. She's been there this past week. She cried the first two days non-stop. Yesterday and today it's been off and on. She's called me "stupid" because I didn't pick her up right after her nap. I was supposed to, but had to work longer. She told the babysitter I was stupid. I've never heard her talk like that. My ex abused me and she depended on her brother from the time she was a  baby. I know I should have left the abusive relationship. I did, but then I had to rely on him again and he then started threatening me that if I left, he'd kill me. Both children have seen abuse towards me, and probably heard me cry. I hate myself for letting them go through it and wish I had left earlier. I'm trying to get her into therapy. I am trying to get on my feet and keep my job also. If her brother is with her, she has no anxiety and turns into another chilid, happy and content. I don't know what to do as I don't want the daycare owner to say she can't watch her anymore as she' cries constantly. She just keeps saying she doesn't like daycare and doesn't want to go, evne in the evening. I used to have them in a larger daycare prior to relocating. If anyone can help me, it would be so appreciated! Like I said, I know I failed with the abuse. They weren't abused and I was scared, so I stayed. I took the abuse and  they are paying for it due to my behav. I'm sorry.

[margypops]

What is the day care person like with your daughter, have you checked if she palys with her, takes her out what her atitude is,towards your daughter?If you dont use the word stupid someone is children copy so it would be a good idea to see where this is happening. Reading your post I really feel there is a wake up call here, something is upsetting your daughter.,my gut feeling is you should quietly check out what happens when your daughter is left with the baby sitter.