Seperation from toddler

[chellelea]

I am a military mom and have been in for 12 yrs. I have two daughters almost 5 and 3. I was deployed to Iraq for 4 months when they were 3yrs old and 14 months old.They stayed with my sister and her husband. My sister stayed at home with them full time. She had very few problems with them. Once again I am TDY but only for two months to Texas for schooling. The girls are staying with my sister again. She is now working and the girls are in dayacare there. My 3 yr old has begun to have very bad temper tantrums and spitting at her teachers. I am becoming very concerned about the impact of being a military mom. Is this normal behavior being complicated by my career? Will these seperations have a life long affect ?? Please advise

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Such separations are often difficult for children and your daughter's regression is understandable. Can the impact be overcome? Yes. You are doing what you can to provide the girls with a stable home environment while you are away, and that is all you can reasonably do. It goes without saying that it would be better for your daughters if they did not have to endure these separations, but such developments have always occurred with military families and there's no reason to think that the girls will not develop well.

[LukeL]

Since you have been in the military for 12 years I am sure you have more then servered your required time on active duty. Is there any way you could get a job stateside and maybe even a permament job at a military or AFB? This way you could continue your career and still be with your kids.

While I am not a doctor I wouldn't worry too much about a 3 year old being braty at certain times as this can be a tough age for a lot of kids.