Sexual curiosity or more?!?

We have a 3 yr old boy (almost 4) and a 3 yr old girl (just turned 3, the boy is my husband son's from a previous marriage and the girl is my daughter is from a previous marriage as well) Recently he has been looking more at the girls area and even trying to watch her bathe/change. Last week the girl came out of the room stating that the little boy had put his private part on her private part. My husband and I called both children out to the family room and questioned them about the incident. When the kids seemed a little confused as to why they might be getting disciplined, i took my daughter to a separate room so both kids could tell us the truth freely and confidently. I asked the girl what happened? She said that he put his private on her private. I questioned if his and her pants were up or down, how did he do it and how many times? She said their pants were up, she demonstrated to me that he walked over to her and did a pelvic thrust/humping movement and the stepped back and that he only did it once. First thing I did was praise the girl for telling mommy the truth. I hugged her and told her she did well in telling us and that just how she told me that she could always tell mommy anything! Once i heard her side of the story we went back to the family room so I could also hear the boys side. He admitted that indeed he put his private part in her but we could not get him to say why nor what he was thinking at that moment. We sat both kids down and gave them the talk of everyone having their private parts and NO ONE being allowed to see or touch them in anyway. They seemed to have understood and they promised to not do it again. The next day they were playing again and my daughter comes out to tell me again that he put his privates on her but this time his pants were down. When we questioned him, he seemed very nervous and started saying that the girl did it. Finally he admitted doing it and could not explain why. Can this just be curiousity or something more?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

While curiosity may be involved, the behavior indiactes that he is mimicking some behavior he has witnessed (either in person or via movie, video. etc.). Of course you are correct in setting avery firm limit on this. It will not be useful to pursue this matter ad nauseum, but it does make sense to inquire further about how it occurred to him to do this. Such behavior does not occur spontaneously in young children.