Should I remove my 5 year old from his preschool?

My son turned 5 in Dec.,he has been attending a Montessori preschool since June of 2000.He suffers from encopresis and is a very sensitive,imaginative and independent boy. Recently his teacher sent us aletter detailing some areas that she is concerned with about his development. Such as occupational areas, social emotional skills,identifying with the group. My husband and I took him to his pediatrition so that she could also make an evaluation. She suggested him seeing someone for a partal psychological evaluation. We think this would be in his best interest.
Our problem with his school is that he has been saying some distrubing things. Such as "Its all my fault" for any little thing- " Im sorry Mama Im not a team worker" and must recently we were putting a puzzle together and when we finished he had a melt down, when i finally calmed him down he said " I lost again and you won. Why did we have to do this puzzle?" After telling him that we went doing this puzzle to win or lose, it was for fun, he told me another boy in school tells him that he loses. I asked him if his teacher knew about this he said " yes she says so too."
In my gut I have a feeling that this school is not right for him. My husband has had this feeling for awhile. WE are working on a toilet retraining schedule for his encopresis, waiting for a call back from the specialist and am looking into alturnitive schooling and/or social things[ swim lessons tumbeling ice skating] to keep up with his socializing.
Would it be better for him if we take him out of his school? Some days he is happy to go other days sad. He should be starting kindergarden in the fall and i feel time is running out. We want to help him be a emotionally happy and socially happy child and we feel we are going in the right direction. What do you think?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Jennifer,

I can't really offer you any definitive opinion about withdrawing your son from his school program. One factor to consider is the phase of the school year, and what the plan would be for September. In other words, if he continues where he is, will he proceed to Kindergarten in the same school, or will he be facing a change. If he will be switching to a new school for Sept., it might be asking a lot to implement a change now for only the second half of this school year. This needs to be balanced, of course, with consideration of the comfort you have about his current placement. Regardless of timing, a parent should not persist in a school placement that does not seem to be in the child's best interest.

A prudent course would be to hold any decision about placement in abeyance for now, and include this variable in the discussions that will occur in relation to his upcoming evaluation(s).