Should my almost 4 year old go to preschool?

[kelco1]

I am concerned that my 4 year old will go to preschool and be disruptive.  He has a very impressionable behavior.  If one thing is done by another that is inappropriate - he is sure to follow and often make the issue more aggressive.  I am not sure if he 'should' go to preschool to help him learn to play and work well with others - or stay home until he understand boundaries and has more self control???  In others experience, does preschool 'help' a child learn to play well with others and help them with self control issues - or does it make matters worse by learning other inappropriate behaviors???   Does it depend on the teacher - or should preschool teachers be in tune with this matter?  Do I tell the teacher in advance my concerns - or wait to see if he will act out in front of her?  All in all he is a very good boy at home - but the minute he gets in a group setting he pushes the boundaries (especially when I am not around). Any suggestions from others with experience would be helpful.

[supermomma531]

I agree with specialmom about the whole school issue. He will learn to adjust to his environment. He will also learn new skills that he may not already know. He will quickly learn that he cannot run the show. He'll learn how to share and make friends and where those boundaries are. He will have fun in the process as well! This will also give you the break you deserve as well. Even if it is for a few hours a day.He will be fine. I hope this helps you out a bunch. Good luck.

[specialmom]

One last thought,  as you worry about what behaviors of the other kids will rub off on your son----  perhaps their behaviors are good ones that you'd like your son to mimic!  

[specialmom]

Hi . . .preschool is a wonderful setting for a child to branch out and learn how to adapt to an enviroment different from home.  Better to have him learn how to follow a routine, fit into group dynamics such as circle time, share, and follow directions before kindergarten (the real world) starts.  A teacher told me something that has always stuck with me.  Most kids do wacky things, have challenges, good days and bad but if you have a child that almost always sticks out in the crowd of kids (in a preschool class) that there may be something to address with that child.  I have two kids.  My oldest who is 5 has something called sensory integration disorder.  He was and still is always a good, compliant kid at home.  But at school where he was overwhelmed and stressed (he went two half days a week the past 2 years)---  he fell apart.  He was definatly "disruptive" to use your word.  But the school helped me see what the problem was and begin occupational therapy to help him.  The earlier this starts the better so I feel school saved him from a future of problems.  He will always be a little different from the other kids, but now he functions pretty well in the class room enviroment.  So describing your child as disruptive---- either there is an issue that early intervention would help with and school will direct you torwards or your son will learn to adapt to the school enviroment and the problem is solved.  4 is not all that young for preschool as our school and many schools have a one day program for 2 1/2 year olds---  so age wise, he'd be with his peers and it is a good time to start.  I'd do the shorter days as this will be an adjustment for him already.  And I'd just gently tell his teacher any really pertinent info like he doesn't like to share or sit too close to other kids, etc.  You don't really know how he will be in the classroom.  He may surprise you.  My wild 4 year old who isn't the best behaved at home is an angel at school.  Hope this helps and good luck!!

[kelco1]

One last question - his potential preschool has a short and longer day option.  9-11:30 or 9-1 (which includes lunch).  I am concerned that a longer day would give him more opportunities to be disruptive :-( or to learn to play accordingly :-).  I am also concerned that lunch could allow him to develop inappropraite dining skills/manners (or vice versus).   As you can see - I am very confussed!??  Please help!