Should we be concerned w/twins behavior?

[momanddad]

My stomach is still in knots over what I saw my 3-1/2 yr. old twin boys doing last night...when I went to check on them after they went to bed, one had his penis in the other one's mouth?!  When I questioned them "what did I see", he said "I told him he could suck my penis".  I was shocked!  I called my husband upstairs, and we asked where did they get this idea.  They basically said they saw Mr. Nobody from Little Bear on TV do it and/or talk about it.  I don't think it's possible they'd have access to see any such thing on TV, not at our house...we have parental controls.  They are usually home with me besides the 3 days a week, 2-1/2 hrs a day that they are in nursery school.  They have been babysat by relatives in their homes, but not in over a month.  Other than that, they'd be in our supervision.  My husband thinks it's innocent and they don't know what they're doing.  I'm quite disturbed and disgusted by it.  Could this behavior be normal and innocent?  We've been dealing with them "rubbing" themselves naked for about a year now.  We've read not to embarrass them with this behavior and to let them know to do this in private in their bedroom.  Well, it's developed into them doing this in the same bed together...which also disturbs me.  I stop them when I catch them together.  I've also found them on top of each other in bed and in the bathtub.  Should I bath them separately now?  Should we separate their bedrooms?  Should we give them a time-out when they do this?  I do not think this is appropriate for them to do together...maybe it's one thing if they are alone, but they are not alone!  We have other older children and have not encountered this problem before.  Please advise.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, you should set limits on some of the behavior. Touching their own genital area when alone is appropriate, but touching each other should not be allowed. You can let them know that any future episodes will be met with some discipline. Do all this in the context of teaching them about privacy and about apprporiate types of touching. You can utilize literature from your local library to help in this discussion. It might also be worthwhile to ask some more questions, with each of the boys alone, how it occurred to them to suck each other's penis. It may be that they have witnessed something or heard something. This does not typically simply occur to children, though obviously it's not impossible that it did.

[momanddad]

I neglected to say that we told them (and have told them before) that no one is allowed to touch their private parts, even if they say it is OK...it doesn't seem to matter to them, they are still touching each other!?   One more thing: it would be quite a difficult task to separate their bedrooms as we have 8 people in our family/5 bedrooms, all full.

[D99G03]

As another mom with kids that same age, I am with you on this.  It's not normal bahvior, especially the "in each other's mouth" thing.  I am certain they did not see this on Little Bear, or at least not the Little Bear we watch here at our house ... but I feel in my gut they have seen this somewhere.  In person, on TV, magazines/books.  Question what your relatives might have lying around? Can you subtly question them about the other kids in school?  If they are supervised as closely as you say they are (and mine are too) it might be a good place to start?  

I do want to add that when I was a child (somewhere between 6th -8th grade) I used to spend occasional Saturdays shopping etc. with my Aunt, who is only 10 yrs. older than I am.  My Uncle was also about the same in age gap, so maybe early 20's at that point ... well in their spare bedroom there were stacks and stacks of various porn magazines.  I will never forget it because It shattered my image ofmy Uncle, whom I had worshipped as a child.  

Good luck and stick with your gut!