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Sibling Sexual Abuse?
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Sibling Sexual Abuse?

I was not sure how to list this problem.

Anyway, I have a situation of a 7 year old boy interacting with his 5 year old sister.  I am not sure how to approach this so I would appriciate some good advice.  The 5 year old girl confronted me about her older brother and told me that they play a game she does not like.  It is a game called "Sex" where the older brother tells his sister that they both have to be naked to play.  To play it starts off with the older brother telling the younger sister to pick either front to front, back to back or back to front and then they asume the poistion that was picked by the younger sister.  The first few times that they played the younger sister choose back to back and then the older brother told her that she has to pick a different one.  So she picked front to front, the older brother then proceeded to hold his naked younger sister on the ground while she was trying to get free.  She is not sure how long he held her there but it was enough for her to feel uncomfortable.

What would this situation be concidered and how should it be approached?
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250986_tn?1229920898
TELL the parents!!! When i was a little kid about 4 i was sexually abused by my babysitters son and daughter. I did not like it and it has affected my whole life. PLEASE TELL THE PARENTS.
Keisha
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Avatar_f_tn
I was sexually abused by my brother for most of my life.  The effects are hard to deal as an adult.  I also work with girls who have been abused in different ways through out thier lives.  I would like you to think about how the little girls feels when she is being held against her will and how she feels completely helpless, as for the boy he does not know what he is doing at this age he is confused about what feels good to him.  I can tell you that sexual behavior at such an early age is caused by exposure, he may have seen something or he may be a victim him self.  If you can not talk to the parents talk to a professional social worker, if you are the parent get the help your children need through honest counsling and find why the young man is behaving this way.  This situation will only get worse until this little girl is being raped by her brother who will if not helped abuse others in the furture.  Good luck, pray often.
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Avatar_f_tn
What a sick world.  When I was little my older brother did this also.  
Heres something that needs to be considered first.  Where did the 7 year old boy figure this out.  This is what happened with my older brother, my parents sent him to a YMCA camp carson for a week one summer, and he was abused by his counsler there.  This is where my brother was shown things like this.  You must find out if something has been done to the 7 year old boy also, because he could be a victim of abuse from some one else.  Don't just think there is something wrong with him before you do some checking into it.  These kids are young still 5 and 7, so he may not understand fully what he is doing like a 12 year old boy would.  Be careful how you handle this because he is only 7.  Also another thing is hopefully his parents don't have porn laying around or watch R rated movies in front of the kids.  He learned it from somewhere, and yes I understand kids learn stuff at school, but again 7 is kind-of young still.
The girl is 5 so, be careful how big of a deal is made regarding this because she may never remember it when she gets older, but if this is your child, then you as a mother must sit down and make your daughter feel like she did nothing wrong.  
What is happening is there is so much SEX on television and in life just in general, and little kids are seeing this and thinking this is what people do.  As everyone says sex sells, and it is ruining our children in the process.
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Avatar_f_tn
I want to explain a little further about this.  I just don't understand how a 7 year old knows so much regarding positions?  I have a 5 year old girl, and she has no idea about sex.  I also don't allow my children to watch any kind of sexual activity on tv weather it be on soaps or on a sitcom.  Many parents don't feel that there is an issue with their children seeing such things on television.  If these children are not your children, then you need to get child protective services involved in this matter, because there is a reason that this little boy knows this stuff.  Put it this way, when Hardees came out with all those commercials about sex, I was one of the first to call and complain, and I even blogged about it on the internet.  Since then I won't eat at that place.  Sex on tv and in public has gotten carried away, and I am trying to raise two little girls to know that they are more then sex objects, and it is hard to do this in todays world.  You have the responsibility though that if this isn't your children, that you have to contact authorities regarding this, if you don't and this happens again, you can be held responsible, by yourself and also by others.  
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Avatar_n_tn
I just found out a friend of mine is married to a woman that has a son almost 15 and they have a son that is 10.they just found out that the 15 year old has been sexualty abusing the 10 year old for 2 years(his half brother)so at the time it started he would have been about 13 1/2 and the other about 8 the parents think they are just kids doing what kids do.I say diffrent.is there a law that would protect the younger boy?
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Avatar_f_tn
It depends on the jurisdiction they live in as to what the law specifies. Child Protective Services would investigate if the parents know but haven't taken action. What do you mean, exactly, by sexually abusing,
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Avatar_n_tn
I Would call child protection services too.  then you are removed from a potentially explosive situation, yet you have acted responsibly and in the best interests of the children.
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Avatar_m_tn
holy cow.    
well back to the original question.    you need to find out where the older brother learned all of that about sex.     im guessing he was abused him self that includes seeing mommy and daddy, tv, porn or full on sexual abuse.    if none of that has happened i would guess that he is something like bi-polar but i couldn't really give you my guess with out talking to the boy.
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Avatar_m_tn
Child protection service, social worker, law or what ever thing does not work, believe me. It generally comes from parents sexual behavior that they do. They think that children don't know but children are curious and grafting everything into the mind. Parents should not ignore the situation that they do.

2nd thing is find the root cause and make them busy in homework and playing or cultural programs. Telling parents , giving punishment are nonsense job. You will beat up then you will feel sad.

If they learned, knew or got information from any source or any form of source, explain    in your own way make it divert. for example; this is not good, you will get fever, sick and make them busy and fun.

Don't beat up and punish , it makes more curious and they gwt in to deeper because they are curious in childhood.
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Avatar_f_tn
This little girl is very brave to tell you about what her brother makes her do. I suspect she already senses that it is wrong or makes her feel bad or she wouldn't have done so. She clearly trusts you and therefore it must be handled with great sensitivity..The first thing is to help her to say "no" to her brothers "games". She must learn to protect herself before the situation gets worse. I was sexually abused by my older brother (of 3 years) from the age of about 5 to 15 and I wish I'd had the support and the confidence to say "No" to him. He was not exposed to sexual abuse himself but we have a very terranical father who would have violent outbursts. We were often beaten by both parents who were very strict and the atmostphere at home was incredibly stressful as children.
I believe, in my brother's case, that it was more about power and control than sex, as is often the case I understand. Although he was also very highly sexed for his age.There may be many reasons why it happens which may need to be addressed.The main thing is to help this little girl to protect herself by saying"NO". It can be so difficult to be assertive at such a tender age when you feel so powerless and she may be scared of the consequences.If it doesn't stop or gets worse she must feel safe to tell you so that further action can be taken if necessary. Very best wishes, Snickett.
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303824_tn?1294875001
I am going through a similar problem with my stepson. He came to live with us a year and a half ago and has touched all 3 of my kids inappropriately. It started when he was 4! No one has touched him or done anything of that nature in front of him,so that excuse is out.

Back on to your subject:
He may have seen it somewhere and is curious, or it's possible someone has done it to him. You never know! It seems sex is surfacing in much younger kids these days, and maybe his friends are telling him things. Regardless of how he knows about it, he obviously does and the thing to do now is make sure he doesn't do anything else to his sister. Things like this can really mess a person up in the head the rest of their life! I don't know how you are related to this little girl, but please DO SOMETHING NOW before it's too late!
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Avatar_m_tn
That is not normal behaviro! Get the 7 year old couseling
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Avatar_f_tn
The boy seems to young t know how to do this by himself his couldbe as simple as him finding some porn and figuring out he positions, but still counseling s necessary!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't know  if this is the right place to write my concer, however after I had my daughter who is now 3 years old I noticed that I have no longer interest in having sex with my husband.  I have to force myself to have sex.  I love my husband and we have a wonderful relationship it's just that few months after our baby came into our live this has changed.  I know few other ladies that went through the same prolem but I don't know how they over came that issue.......Please help me:)
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Avatar_n_tn
I am unclear from YOUR post as to whether these are your children, or someone else's. If your own, run to a child psychologist. This is in no way normal or curious behavior. Get him a complete psych eval. NOW, and be sure to teach and protect that little girl, until you have more information.

If these are not yours, whether child services "works' OR not is not the issue. This little girls safety, and the possible mental illness/conduct disorder/suffering of this little boy due to some ind of abuse IS the issue. Tell the parents, and if they dont act IMMEDIATELY (within 24-48 hours) call services. These kids can have their lives destroyed by inaction.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have this same problem. It did not come up until my 4 year old daughter had problems urinating. I took her to the dr. and It has come out that my 13 year old stepson has been sexually abusive to her. He keeps saying he didn't do it but she says he did. I don't know what to believe except I know she has not been exposed to anything that would make her know about what he did. please help!!!
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303824_tn?1294875001
I'm interested to know what ever came of this? I sincerely hope this has all been a thing of the past and the little girl is okay, and her brother has gotten the help he needs.
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Avatar_f_tn
my family and I are going through the same situation. Our adopted daughter keeps sexually abusing her younger sibling and attacking her...yes this is a young 9 year old girl and her 7 year old sister. I got so upset and vowed that it wouldnt happen again. I contacted Childrens Services and they said it wasnt anything they could do. so I had her admiitted to Netcare and they sent her to a treatment facility. There I left it up to the facility to contact Childrens Services and get involved...Since they filed for custody, but I am back in court because the child said we abused her and wants a new home. she has been diagnosed with RAD, mood disorder COS and ADHD she has abused our family pet also....I stood up for the other children and she will not be returning...The bad side to this is that Childrens services is making us out to be bad parents and we have an Neglect case while they said they would help if we work with them and we did .... all the other children are fine not abused and doing well. two honor roll students and our bio children are doing well ones in her last year of high school and the other starting  college next month. Where are Childrens Services when you need them? We have been foster care providers for years and all 85 children we fostered never harmed...(smh)...I hope this helped alittle...and if anyone can help me please e-mail me at shawna_licious***@**** for some very much needed info to present in court....Thank you,
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello, I am here today to give out some information. When I was about 5 me and another boy did stuff with each other, I am now 14 and I have sexual intrest for young children as a result of this. You should really get some help for your child so he doesn't end up like me. I am afraid I'm going to end up in jail in 4 years and its because I didn't get help when I had the chance PLEASE make sure you talk with your child
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Avatar_m_tn
that is not okay its wrong and its a serious taboo
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