Signs of Sexual Abuse

We have a faily friend that has an 8 yr old son.  He has to some extent played the "nasty game" with our 4 yr old.   We aren't sure how far the nasty game went either.  After reasonable discussion with both boys individually and explaing to them that it was wrong, it happened again.  My husband feels the 8 yr old shows signs of being abused himself while I am not sure.  What is normal sexual behavior?  Currently we just don't let our children play with this child unsupervised but it is not a good solution if my husband suspicions are correct.  We have a two year old in a family day care home,  the 8 year old is sometimes cared for there also.  I don't want this happening to him and don't know if it is serious enough to alert the family day care provider.  Is this normal curiosity or not?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children of the age of eight do not normally engage in this type of activity - it is more within the realm of normal for younger children, depending on what actually occurred. Why is there suspicion about what might have occurred with the eight-year-old? Are his parents cognizant of this? If there is some specific information that the parents should know, be sure to tell them so that they can follow up appropriately.