Sleep Habits

My 8 1/2 year old daughter has become increasingly difficult to get to bed at night.  She has to ask the same list of questions every night.  She wants to know if I have to work, what the weather will be, what time she has to get up.  She then has to repeat over and over "Good night, I love you, see you in the morning".  This goes on every night for 30-40 minutes at a time every night.  If we refuse to play into her actions, her behavior escalates.  She does not have this behavior when she spends the night at her grandparents house or at a friends house.  I need help, my husband and I are a loss for what to do or what may be going on with her.  We have tried answering the questions, ignoring her, grounding her.  Please help.  I don't know if it is a behavior problem, she has OCD tendencies, or separation anxiety.  I am starting to wander if it is a parenting issue.  Anyone out there with similar problems?

[lexie68]

sounds like she has some separation anxiety. perhaps if you tell her before bed time what you expect and what will happen "if she does not do what a big girl of almost 9 would do", also perhaps you can go over her "list" ( really write it down)  before she gets into bed, and you know check then off .write down your work days, check the weather with her, what time she gets up, ect, then maybe if you don't already do this, read to her, then turn out lights, lay w/her for say 5 min kiss, hug and good night, also both my 7yr & 11yr old like to listen to lullabies. we put  in their c.d players and hit the repeat so they play all night. also night lights. you could also try and give a "pass card" that she can use 1 time to call you back for something. what also worked when my 7 yr was getting in our bed everynight  was for every night she stayed in her bed we hung a paper chain link from the ceiling till it reached her bed then she got a prize of her choice. that worked for us for a good while. but then she got pretty sick and i let her sleep with us again so unfortunately we are back to where we started, but it worked and perhaps it will work better for you. good luck and try not to get angry at her she isn't doing it because she wants to. i think bed time can be lonely and a bit scary for kids. believe me i know its hard and i know you are tired and just want to spend time w/hubby or just veg out i feel the same but remind myself that soon they will be grown and won't want to spend time w/ me, in a few years you will have all the free time you want and then perhaps you will even miss those nights when she wanted you so near. good luck and don't let her see you angry.

[musicmama]

lexie68 has some great ideas.  My first inclination is to go through the same routine, but start 1/2 hour earlier.  If it takes an hour to get through her routine, then start an hour earlier.  I think the most stressful thing is staying up after bedtime.  
Good luck and God bless.