Sleeping in bed with mom and grandma at 9yrs old

[greensh5]

I was reading the post regarding the little girl Ashley sleeping with her mom.  I have a 9 yr old Step daughter (Victoria) who sleeps with her mom and grandmother every other weekend. I can tell you from experience; it only causes insecurities in the long run.  Victoria has nightmares when she returns home to us after a weekend away.  She will go to bed sobbing, wanting to sleep with us, or return to her moms.  She will ask to sleep with us over and over, but we feel we need to keep sending her back to her bed.  We continuously tell her mom that it is not working, not only for Victoria, but for us as well. Victoria is very insecure, afraid of her own shadow.  Eventually, sleeping with an adult will have repercussions.   My husband and I find it so upsetting.  We have a two year old who goes to bed every day at 8:30pm, with the door closed, lights off, curtains closed.  Our 9 yr old, needs a night light, needs the door opened and the dog at the end of her bed.  We want our girls to be happy and healthy, not to have any fears, to feel secure in our home.  Our 9 yr old has bi-weekly counseling sessions as well.  Obviously if a child is sick or has the odd nightmare, sleeping with a parent would be totally understandable, but not every night.  We are not giving any privacy or independence.  


This discussion is related to Sleeping in bed with mom.