Social and emotinal skills..

[july1975]

My 5 yr old daughter doesn't want to play with peers. She has couple of friends with whom he plays when they come to our home or when we visit them, but again she wouldn't play with them if those friends are playing with somebody else new. She would play only if those freinds are alone and not with anybody else that she didn't know of.If we go to a birthday party she will just stay with me or my husband, she won't go and play even if her close friends otherwise plays with are there in the party.  She will  tell all kinds of reasons not interested, doesn't want to play, very tired, want to eat something. Sometimes she even takes resort with the food.. she will slowly keep on eating just so she doesn't need to get up from there. I need help to get her to involve with other peers.
I hear complaints from his teacher saying she won't talk loud in the class, but good things is she answers teacher veri nice , but not loud enough showing some kind of fear... She only plays with 1 or 2 kids in the recess time.
Any help is much appreciated.. Is this SPD or Autism or Attention disorder? I would like to get this treated asap for her to socialize well and for me to sleep well without worries about her..Thanks..

[specialmom]

Hi, I don't think she has any disorder as such, she just sounds anxious and shy.  I agree that if she is content with a few good friends then that is her preferance which isn't bad.  Birthday parties are notoriously hard on kids so I would keep expectations low at those types of events.  But what I would keep my eye on is the anxiety part.  While how many friends she has doesn't matter, it is more of an issue if she feels very uncomfortable on the inside/ anxious.  Not wanting to speak in school is an indicator of anxiety.  This is something to keep your eye on.  You don't want to push her to hard as she needs a safe harbor in order to eventually branch out.  I would suggest expanding her circle by getting her involved in something of her choosing.  If she loves art or dance----  she'll be around others with similar interests and have the opportunity to practice her social skills and become more comfortable with them.  Girl scouts will be great too.  Having a soft voice----  that one gets me.  I have a soft voice and it is what it is.  It has never hindered me professionally or personally.  Perhaps the teachers are speaking of her just speaking up in general and using a confident voice.  She will probably always work on this and it will get better as she gets comfortable.  So, keep her active, keep those few playdates going, try not to worry and watch the anxiety component.  That is the part that can be tricky-----  good luck.

[91004]

She is 5 yr. old. Not all kids are socialable nor should it be of concern if they are not. If she is happy then let her be. The eating is probally because you are putting pressure on her to play with the others. I don't like big crowds and I am 28, my oldest son is the same way. My youngest will talk and play with everyone though. I see no need in a therapist. In my opinion if you keep pushing her to do it when she doesn't feel comfortable it will make it worse.

[megochick101]

Does she seem stressed out or upset about the fact that she doesn't want to socialize with other children? If she is happy only associating with just these 2 friends then I don't think there is a problem with her, but it could never hurt to get her evaluated by a therapist just to make sure she isn't upset or to make sure she is developing socially.