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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Social development of almost 4 year old daughter.
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Social development of almost 4 year old daughter.
by Sheila, Aug 18, 2000 12:00AM
My daughter will be 4 in October. Our concerns for her are around her social development.
She attends daycare but does not initiate any conversation/contact with her peers but has no problem communicating with the teachers. She usually does not ask for help with anything in the classroom, seems like she is "in her own world". Has a short attention span and does not last the entire duration of group activities such as story-telling, bingo or circle time, prefers to play by herself,is aware of the children around her and calls them her friends but does not play with them. Likes to go to daycare, never complains that she does not want to go. Activites that she likes such as dancing, aerobics, singing etc are no problem.
At home, she is very talkative but strong willed. She is very particular about things like, which shoes to wear, a hat outside even if not really necessary. She is definately intelligent (could recognise the alphabet at 18 months).
She is an only child who had a nanny full-time until three years and half-time after that. Her father and I have full-time jobs outside the house.
I am worried about her poorly developed social skills and am concerned that she might have a developmental disorder (autism ??) requiring professional help.
By way of backgroud, I am not an overly outgoing person myself and neither is my husband. We do have friends with kids her age
but don't meet very often.
My gut feeling is that she has to be made to participate in group activities even if she is not interested (not be given the option of playing by herself) and adult intervention to teach her to interact with other children since she isn't doing it on her own.
Any insight you can provide is most appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
She attends daycare but does not initiate any conversation/contact with her peers but has no problem communicating with the teachers. She usually does not ask for help with anything in the classroom, seems like she is "in her own world". Has a short attention span and does not last the entire duration of group activities such as story-telling, bingo or circle time, prefers to play by herself,is aware of the children around her and calls them her friends but does not play with them. Likes to go to daycare, never complains that she does not want to go. Activites that she likes such as dancing, aerobics, singing etc are no problem.
At home, she is very talkative but strong willed. She is very particular about things like, which shoes to wear, a hat outside even if not really necessary. She is definately intelligent (could recognise the alphabet at 18 months).
She is an only child who had a nanny full-time until three years and half-time after that. Her father and I have full-time jobs outside the house.
I am worried about her poorly developed social skills and am concerned that she might have a developmental disorder (autism ??) requiring professional help.
By way of backgroud, I am not an overly outgoing person myself and neither is my husband. We do have friends with kids her age
but don't meet very often.
My gut feeling is that she has to be made to participate in group activities even if she is not interested (not be given the option of playing by herself) and adult intervention to teach her to interact with other children since she isn't doing it on her own.
Any insight you can provide is most appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Aug 19, 2000 12:00AM
, Aug 19, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Sheila,
Your description indicates that it is very unlikely that your daughter displays any form of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, including Autistic Disorder.
It is very important to keep such children in the mix, so to speak. That is, be sure she's continually exposed to social situations with peers, particularly outside of school. It sounds like you're doing this by virtue of the activities in which she's engaged.
You might try to increase the frequency of play opportunites with only one or two other children. This will likely be less daunting for her and serve the purpose of increasing her comfort with peer-oriented social interaction.
Your description indicates that it is very unlikely that your daughter displays any form of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, including Autistic Disorder.
It is very important to keep such children in the mix, so to speak. That is, be sure she's continually exposed to social situations with peers, particularly outside of school. It sounds like you're doing this by virtue of the activities in which she's engaged.
You might try to increase the frequency of play opportunites with only one or two other children. This will likely be less daunting for her and serve the purpose of increasing her comfort with peer-oriented social interaction.
