My 11yo was adopted from severely mentally ill birthparents. She was a very difficult child from day 1. A year and a half ago she became increasing violent, no remorse. She'll do whatever she has to do to get whatever she wants to get. Eight months ago she decided she wanted a new mother, so she tried to burn the house down with me in it. That was the last straw and I had her psychiatrically hospitalized. She's still there, still violent, still no remorse. Calling me, accusing the staff of endangering her life. When I check into the situation and push her for details, the stories start changing. I catch her in lies. I later find out she's threatened to get those particular staff members fired for calling her on her behaviors. I'm scared she'll never be safe to bring home again. I"m scared of what will happen when the insurance decides to stop paying- we have no funds to pay. I'm scared of what will happen to her, and what will happen to those she encounters in her life. We go there regularly for family therapy. She's on lots of meds, and they're playing with them. Any ideas or advice or comfort would be much appreciated.
Rachel, Sarah's Mom
I can't off you much help or advice but I can offer some comfort and let you know that you are not alone. My son has been having issues for years but has recently (2 months) begun telling me that he is going to kill me and how. He hasn't actually attempted it yet but that is because he doesn't want to get caught and so has to wait for the right time. His plan is to drug me with pills that I normally take so that no one can prove that he did it. He feels that he is safe in telling people about his plan because he does not believe that he will ever get caught. He is now on his third visit to the mental hospital and I don't know what we are going to do if this does not work. I have resigned myself to the idea that he may have to go to a long term placement where it may be years before he is allowed to come home if he comes home at all. I just have to stay focused on the idea that my job as a mother is to love him, which is nearly impossible right now, and prepare him for the future as best as I can. That is all any of us can do. Just know that you are not alone and that there are others as lost, angry, hurt and confused as you are.
wow. i am so sorry for all of you struggling with this. it is soooooo sad. i believe that God and only God can fix this. He is, after all, the creator of the consience. Pray and ask God to give these children a consience. Just like you would pray for any other type of healing. For very serious issues like this, fasting and prayer is very effective. You can fast from sunrise to sunset for say, once a week, like every Friday or something. I have heard people talk about fasting and praying for 6 mos (like once a week) or even longer before they get their breakthrough. The Bible talks about fasting as a tool that God gives us for doing serious battle. Fasting is hard because you are fighting! Every time your stomach growls, PRAY. You are letting God know you are serious and willing to fight! God answers prayer! Anyhow, that's what I would do. Hope this helps. God bless you (did you know that the word "bless" means to intervene and take action?) That's what we are asking God to do when we say God bless you :)
There are solicitors who specialise in special needs law, and it maybe possible to get legal aid, or pay for a couple of hours information to help you know what is out there. Very often parents are not told what their child is entitled to by law and what the responsibility of the state is to keep your child safe from himself and hurting others. I know that isn't the answer, but sometimes knowing that there is a way of them being secure out of the home environment is a relief.
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