Son being bullied at preschool

[hanaguchi]

My son is three and a half and started preshool this year. He started having nightmares and would wake up saying "no, stop it (child's name)". I told the teachers about it and spent a couple of days in school and found that this other child is extremely violent. He hits and kicks other children and throws stuff around. The teachers intervene very soon but he usually has gotten a child to cry by then. I am not sure what to do.
Thanks

[Ron321Kids]

My son is in the same situation I picked him up from pre school one day and was told he was involved in a incedent was led to believe my child was at fault once I got him home a checked him he was covered in bruises scratched on his face two black eye a right state  I rang the school and had to push for the truth i was then told two boys were on top of him he had been attacked while 4 members of staff did nothing by the time they had noticed it was too late I kept him away from pre school as I wouldn't put him in a unsafe enviroment had nightmares wouldn't eat and it totally changed him . I got intouch with the local authoritories and ofsted who did a formal investigation we had meetings the child is getting help with his agression my son has returned but gets very upset when near the child  and it breaks my heart to see him like thus he should be happy at pre school  

[hanaguchi]

Thanks for all the comments. It is really painful watching your child lose his innocence in this way. I also love the suggestion about asking for a conference with the other child's parents. I am going to ask and see what happens.

[fungirl]

Hi, I have never posted on this site before, but when I came across you post, I just had to put my 2 cents in.  I agree with all of the other posters.  I am a preschool teacher.  I lead teach the 3's and 4's classes, and assist in the 4's and 5's classes.  If I were you, I would request a conference with the teacher and the parents of the other child.  More than likely, his parents will be horrified and want to take care of the situation.  Is there more that one teacher in the class?  I know that we have a little guy in the older class who is really aggressive.  We just make sure that one of us has an eye on him at all times.  We have told the mother that if he hurts another chid, he will no longer be allowed to come to our preschool.  Please do not make your child move to a different class, as this may make your child feel as if he is being punished for what the other child is doing. Please let us know what happens.  Kasie

[Trialanderror]

It always helps to inform the teachers so they can at least try to be more observant when your son has an encounter with the violent child. At least they can let you know what happens so you can find solutions to deal with this with your son. My bottom line is that this happens so frequently at preschools that you may keep ending up in the same situation again and again if you switch schools or classes and even if some of the violent guys are removed. I find that especially among preschoolers there can be brutal situations. It is not the typical bullying yet where one child picks on another to cover up for his own weakness but rather the lack of words or ability to express emotions. My son had been bullied at preschool for 5 months. His face was deeply scratched a few times per week and his ear cut. He often cried in his sleep and sometimes mentioned two names. His teachers assumed we had a cat that scratched him and never realized what was going on. I told my son to either walk away, tell the child off or talk to a teacher in future. He learned how to strike back verbally. Eventually he turned into one of the really popular kids but at what price? Even though this school is one of the better ones in the area, he sure lost his innocence and some of his kindness there. Your son will probably find his way through that violent jungle as well once he is a "veteran" but if you come across an easier environment or have the chance to reduce the time he is spending there, please do so. Those can be stressful years while they are supposed to be playful.

[hanaguchi]

Thanks for the comments. Honestly, I think they should expel the child as otherwise they need to devote a single teacher to watching him all the time. If they decide not to expel him I am not really sure what else they could do (perhaps handcuff him to the radiator).
They have asked if I want to try and change classes but
my son has all his friends in this and I am not sure how he would feel suddenly being pulled out of his class.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You need to make more noise about this situation.  Speak up and demand they intervene in a more efficient manner.

[here4theinfo]

The teachers not only need to protect uor son, and any other child that is getting bullied, but they also need to bring it to the attention of the bullies parents too!!! If that doesn't seem to be accomplished, talk to the other parents whos kids are bullied and go to the teacher, supervisor, principal together. Someone needs to make this little boy stop being mean to you son, its terrible. Go to anyone you can who will listen and stop this behavior before it gets worse...